A Word to Describe Sam and Freddie
by deetrixjaay
Summary: Just one word? How 'bout one hundred? Taking on SeddieBenett's 100 Word Challenge!
1. Taking On A Challenge

**Yo, yo! It's DEETRIXJAAY and I have…**

**TAKEN ON A CHALLENGE!**

**Hell to the yeah! Yup, yup! Soooo, I'm taking on SeddieBenett's 100 Word Challenge! HUZZAH! LOL. Mk, so this is gonna be a series of one-shots, each surrounding a single word from the list below. I have a feeling it's gonn' be good. (x So please read, enjoy, and REVIEW! YAY!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**

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><p><strong>Aardvark<strong>

**Airport**

**Artist**

**Baby**

**Ball**

**Beach**

**Birthdays**

**Breakfast**

**Bully**

**Cake**

**Carly**

**Comb**

**Countdown**

**Crazy**

**Cupcakes**

**Dad**

**Dancing**

**Dates**

**Dinner**

**Drunk**

**Each**

**Eighteenth**

**Everyday**

**FanFiction**

**Fishing**

**Fifteen**

**Gay**

**Gibby**

**Giving**

**Goat**

**Golf**

**Groovy-Smoothie**

**Happy**

**Heavy**

**Home**

**Horses**

**iCarly**

**Ice-Cream**

**Insane**

**Jail**

**Jealousy**

**Jack-in-the-Box**

**Kicks**

**Kiss**

**Kite**

**Last**

**Lollipop**

**Losing**

**Love**

**Lunchtime**

**Mask**

**Mistletoe**

**Moms**

**Naked**

**Nice**

**Nine**

**Numbers**

**Nurse**

**Odd**

**One**

**Others**

**Orange**

**Packing**

**Passionate**

**Pencil**

**Photograph**

**Quickly**

**Quiet**

**Rambunctious**

**Risk**

**Rocks**

**Sailing**

**Slow**

**Snatch**

**Spencer**

**Stolen**

**Stupid**

**Sunsets**

**Trail**

**Tree-House**

**Trouble**

**Truth**

**Umbrella**

**Under**

**Valentine**

**Violet**

**Victory**

**Warfare**

**Web**

**Wedding**

**Weirdo**

**What**

**Winner**

**X-Ray**

**Xylophone**

**Years**

**Yes**

**You**

**Zap**

**Zoo**

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><p><strong>Wish me luck!<strong>


	2. FANFICTION

**FANFICTION.**

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| FREDDIE'S P.O.V. |

It was dark in my room, the only source of light coming from the lap top screen situated in my lap. I skimmed over the words I spent over an hour trying to put together perfectly. I huffed and tapped on the backspace key.

"No… no… that's not right…"

I rubbed a hand over my tired eyes. _Okay, this is so not working… _There was a grumble from my stomach. I moved my lap top onto my bed and got up to grab a snack. I slipped out of my bedroom, not bothering to cover up, leaving me in nothing but my Galaxy Wars boxers. It's not like it mattered; my mom was working a double shift, meaning I had the apartment to myself. I padded into the kitchen and started shuffling through the pantry. Fiber Nuts or Organic Wheatie-O's? Deciding to go with the lesser of two evils, I grabbed the box of Fiber Nuts and started pouring the cereal into a bowl.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash from my bedroom followed by a loud grumble. "Goddamnit…"

I rolled my eyes and carried my bowl of cereal into my bedroom. I walked into the room and saw a familiar blonde figure kneeling on the ground next to the remnant of my table lamp shattered on the ground. "Really, Sam? Is it not enough that you broke into my apartment, but you had to break my table lamp, too?"

She stepped over the broken shards and shrugged. "S'not my fault, the lamp was in my way. Don't cry about it, Benson. It was an ugly color anyways." She plopped onto my bed.

"Yeah, I guess." I sat on top of my desk and started spooning cereal into my mouth. "So, not to sound rude or anything, but what're you doing here? I thought you were at Carly's."

She twisted a curl around her finger. "Eh, she's web-camming with that Jeffery kid she met at the Groovy Smoothie. I got bored and decided that you get the honor of trying to entertain me." She snorted. "Nice underwear, by the way." I blushed and remembered I hadn't put anything over my Galaxy Wars boxers. "Nub-Nub boxers? Real sexy, Freddork."

I set my bowl down and stood up to slip on a pair of sweats. "For the hundredth time, Puckett, it's _Nug-Nug_."

She stuck her tongue out at me. "For the hundredth time, Benson, who cares?" I rolled my eyes and went back to my cereal. "So, watcha doin' on your little nerd box here?" She started picking up my abandoned lap top.

I threw my bowl onto the table and jumped towards her. "Wait! Sam, don't!"

She froze in mid-reach and slowly turned towards me, eyebrows raised. A small smirk crept onto her face. "What's the matter, Freddifer? You watching porn or something?"

My face flushed. "Wha – No! I was not watching po –"

Sam threw her hands up defensively. "Hey, if you were about to go flog your log or whatever, I'll just leave."

My cheeks were on fire now. "Sam! I was not going to uh, do… that! Geez!"

She laughed and picked up the lap top. "Well if you weren't watching porn, what were you doing?" She started reading and I groaned. I watched as her eyes widened. Her eyes flickered towards me. "You're writing **fanfiction**?" Her voice was half amused, half curious.

I just stood there in the middle of my room and rubbed the back of my neck. "Uh…" Well, no point in denying it now. "Yeah." I sat down on the bed next to her. "Please don't tell anyone, Sam," I pleaded.

She looked up at me with an odd expression on her face. Wordlessly, she turned back to the lap top and began typing things in. She took a deep breath and held the screen up for me to see.

"What –"

She waved a hand in front of my face. "Shh. Just read what's on the screen, Benson."

I glanced at the lap top. It was open to the Fanfiction website homepage. I raised my eyebrows at her. _Sam knew about this website? _"Uh, yes. This is the Fanfiction website."

She typed something in and pressed 'Enter'. A profile opened up on the screen.

"PsychoBlonde239," I read aloud. I skimmed through the writer's story list, recognizing a few of my favorite stories. "Hey, these are some of my favor…" I trailed off, realization sinking in. I slowly turned my head towards Sam. "Wait. _You're _PsychoBlonde239?"

She smirked and bobbed her head. "In the flesh."

I gaped at her. "Wh – how? I – Dude!" I pointed a finger at her. "_You_ write fanfiction?"

She shrugged. "Hey, I'm entitled to a few guilty pleasures."

I grasped her on the shoulders and started shaking her. "Man, you write the best Dramione stories ever!" She looked taken aback at my comment. "What?"

She pointed at me. "You ship Dramione, Benson?"

I took my hands off her shoulders and settled more comfortably next to her. "Well, yeah… Surprised?"

She leaned back onto my pillows and locked her hands behind her head. "Mhm. 'Cause I always pegged you as more of a Harry/Hermione kinda guy."

"Nah, I actually don't like their ship at all."

Sam smiled. "Couldn't agree more."

I felt pleasantly surprised that she agreed with me on something. "Yeah, I mean, Harry and Hermione, they're too much alike. They're both nice. They're both smart. They hardly ever argue."

"They're both brunette."

I laughed. "Yeah, there's that too. I guess a relationship between them would be boring."

We settled in a comfortable silence.

"Wanna know my number one reason for shipping Dramione?" Sam asked.

I nodded towards her. "Shoot."

Shock jolted through my body when I felt Sam pull herself onto my lap. "Uh Sam what're you –"

She put one hand behind my head and pressed the index finger of her other hand to my lips. "I kinda like the idea of the vicious blonde falling for the nerdy brunette."

I felt a blush crawling onto my face. I smiled. "Can I be that nerdy brunette?"

She pressed her lips to mine. We broke the kiss. She flicked me on the nose.

"Only if I can be the vicious blonde."

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><p><strong>YAY! There's the first one-shot. I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!<strong>

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	3. GAY

**Mk, just wanted to let you guys know... most of these will be unrelated one-shots. But I'll make sure to tell you if the one-shot will connect! On with the story, then!**

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><p><strong>GAY.<strong>

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_In which everyone's favorite *note the sarcasm* psycho mom worries about her baby boy's sexual orientation…_

| MRS. BENSON'S P.O.V. |

"Growing boys need their mommies. Yes they do! Growing boys need their mommies. Yes they do! When they fall down and scrape their knees up or they're going through a bad break up, growing boys need their mommies. Yes they doooo!"

I sang the latest song from my Aggressive Parenting soundtrack as I waltzed into my Freddie-bear's bedroom. It was one thirty-seven in the afternoon, time for my tri-weekly inspection of Freddie's drawers. A couple months ago, an article in the Aggressive Parenting magazine warned me of the dangerous things teenagers kept in their drawers: cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, even _pornography_, things my Freddie definitely needed to stay away from. So, I began doing these inspections to make sure my baby wasn't hiding anything from me.

I contemplated the set of drawers and decided to start from the bottom up. I kneeled on the ground and started to examine his pants drawer. _Hmm… _grey sweatpants, denim, denim, black sweatpants, denim…_ Oh, my son wears too much denim!_ I waved that off; at least there were no drugs. I opened up the next drawer, T-shirts. Blue plaid button-up, black button-up, red polo shirt, one of those "Penny Tees" or whatever the kids called them… This one was all worn-looking, the words "Special Ham" were almost faded… _Freddie-bear, you should just buy a new one… you wear this one too much!_ Okay, no alcohol, good. I got off my knees and opened his sock drawer. All of his socks were perfectly lined up and sorted by color. I hmph-ed proudly.

"When baby's drawers are neat, Mommy will give him a treat!"

I laughed at my clever little rhyme and went to his last drawer, the undergarments. It may seem like an invasion of privacy to check my son's underwear drawer, but that Aggressive Parenting magazine said that this is the drawer most susceptible of carrying dangerous items. There's another reason I check this drawer. I live in fear of the day I find some nasty girl's lacy pink underwear in my little baby Freddie's drawer.

A shudder ran down my spine and I began doing inventory of Freddie's underwear. (Yes, I am aware of every pair of boxers in this drawer.) I also had to make sure his name was sewn onto the tag. Red and white plaid, name, check! Green and blue stripes, name, check! Galaxy Wars, name, check! Bacon pattern, na – Wait, bacon pattern? My Freddie does not own a pair of boxers with bacon on them! I used a shaky hand to check the label for his name. No, it wasn't there.

My heart started pounding. _Why is there another boy's boxers in my son's underwear drawer?_ I stared wide-eyed at the underwear in my hands. _Is my baby… is my Freddie-bear… is he g-_**gay**_?_ _It's bad enough to think that my baby would be sexually involved with girls… but boys? _I stood up and walked into the kitchen. It was two 'o clock, I should be on my way to work by now. I threw the bacon boxers onto a chair and picked up the phone. I dialed the hospital.

"_Seattle Hospital, this is Sylvia._"

"Sylvia!" I spat out.

"_Oh Marissa! Aren't you coming in for work today?_"

"I need somebody to cover my shift. It's an emergency."

"_Sorry Marissa, nobody can cover this afternoon._"

"Then you do it!" I shrieked.

"_But tonight is my mother's ninetieth birthday cele –_"

"My son's sexual orientation is in question, so better find someone to cover for me, dang nabbit!" I disconnected the phone call to the woman's flurried protests. I slammed the phone back onto its stand and plucked the underwear off the chair with my thumb and index finger.

I situated myself onto the plastic covered couch in my living room and waited for Freddie to come home from school.

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><p>I paced back in forth in front of the couch, trying to figure out how I was going to confront Freddie on this, eh, <em>situation<em>.

"Fredward, do you have feelings for… No, no, no… Freddie, sometimes boys find themselves confused as to… No, that won't work. Fre –" I froze when I heard Freddie's voice outside of the apartment.

"Sam! Now it's all uneven!"

The blonde she-devil's voice answered back. "Aw, it's not all that bad, Freddifer."

"Not that bad? The other side's like an inch longer!"

"You know Freddie; this is partly your fault. You should've known better than to fall asleep with your head on Sam's shoulder while she's holding scissors!" That Carly girl's voice.

"Ugh. Whatever, I'll see you guys later at iCarly rehearsal. Bye Carly. I hate you, Sam."

"You know you love me, Benson!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

The apartment door started opening. I sat back down onto the couch, stuffing the foreign boxers behind a pillow. Freddie walked into the apartment with his eyes closed, singing some silly song I've heard him singing a few times before.

"I like the way you touch my hair. So why would you choose him instead? Girl who cuts my hair…" I watched as his eyes slowly opened.

"Hello, Fredward."

My little boy jumped and dropped his backpack on the floor. "Holy… Uh, hey Mom. What're you doing home? Aren't you supposed to be at wo –"

I jumped off the couch. "Do you like boys?"

He stopped in mid-motion, his eyes wide and his mouth opened in a small 'o'. Then he burst out laughing. I frowned as his shoulders shook in laughter. "Ha, very funny Mom! And here I was thinking you had no sense of humor…"

I threw my hands in the air. "Freddie, I'm being serious! Are you sexually involved with males?"

Freddie's laughter died and his expression became serious. "Mom, I'm as straight as a rod. Why would you think I'm gay? What the he –"

"That sentence better end with heck, Freddie Benson!" I huffed and whipped the boxers out from behind the pillow. I walked up to him and waved them in his face. "Can you explain to me what _these _were doing in _your _underwear drawer?"

I watched Freddie analyze the underwear. Recognition flitted in his eyes. He broke out in another fit of laughter.

I furrowed my eyebrows and balled the boxers in my fist. "_What _is so funny, Fredward?"

Freddie let out one last chuckle and took the underwear out of my hands. He tucked them into his back pocket and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Mom, those are Sam's boxers. Sam as in _Samantha_, a girl."

I felt like a heavy rock had been lifted from my shoulders. _My son wasn't gay… _I felt like celebrating. "Oh, thank the heavens! I thought you were…" Something hit me. Hard. Freddie started walking away, but I pulled on his arm. "Wait. Why do _you _have that criminal girl's underwear?"

Freddie froze and he eyes shifted guiltily. "Uh – I – um… Well, gotta go! Time for, uh, iCarly rehearsal…" He twisted his arm from my grip and bolted out the apartment door.

I slammed my fists against the closed door, sobbing. "NO! My baby's been deflowered by a juvenile delinquent!"

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><p><strong>Yep. Oh and in case you were wondering, Mrs. B's song is to the tune of the children's song "She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain". LOL.<strong>

**So, remember to review, my loves!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**

**BTW, sorry if Mrs. Benson came off as a homophobe. I just think that's how she would react if she found out her wittle baby Fweddie was gay.**


	4. CUPCAKES

**Look it's another chapter! :0 Hope you like!**

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><p><strong>CUPCAKES.<strong>

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_In which Sam bakes cupcakes. At least that's what she planned to do…_

| SAM'S P.O.V. |

"_So she said, What's the problem baby?_

_What's the problem I don't know_

_Well maybe I'm in love, think about it every time_

_I think about it, can't stop thinking 'bout it._

_How much longer will it take to cure this_

_Just to cure it 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love_

_Makes me wanna turn around and face me_

_But I don't know nothing about love"_

I sang along to the Counting Crows song blasting from the small purple radio that sat next to the kitchen sink. My mom was in Vegas (or was it Cancun?) with a new boy toy and I had the whole house to myself. I enjoyed the solitude for the first couple hours of my day. I woke up at ten, ate some ham, bought (okay illegally downloaded) the new Cuttlefish album onto my PearPhone, played around with Frothy, and watched a marathon of Girly Cow reruns. But now, it was three in the afternoon, and I had absolutely _nothing _to do.

I was lying sprawled on top of my kitchen counter.

"Well baby I surrender to the strawberry ice cream. Never ever end of all this love. Well I didn't mean to do it. But there's no escaping your love. Oooh-woah!" I belted out, kicking my mismatched socks in the air.

_Oh gods, I really gotta find something to do…_ I snatched my PearPhone off the counter and dialed Carly's number. It rang eight times before she finally picked up the phone.

"_What, Sam?_"

I raised my eyebrows at her snappy tone. "What's got your pa –" I grimaced and changed my choice of words "undies in a bunch, Shay?"

I heard her huff. "_Do you need something, Sam? 'Cause I'm kind of busy…_"

"Well, Ms. Snappy Pants, my mom's out of town… I ate all my ham… there's nothing to watch on TV…" My rant was interrupted by a moan from Carly's end of the phone. My eyes widended. "Uh, Carls…?"

I heard Carly giggle. "Wait 'til I'm off the phone, Matt…" Another giggle and moan. "Stop it! Sam will hear you." I heard Carly's latest boyfriend's voice.

"Let her hear…"

I gagged. "Don't forget to use a condom," I yelled before hanging up. I groaned and sat up from the counter. "What to do, what to do…" I scanned my kitchen, and my eyes fell on a random box of cake mix sitting on one of the shelves. _When did we get that? _Then I remembered, my mom's last boyfriend was a phony chef. _Eh, what the hell? I have nothing else to do…_

I jumped off the counter and nabbed the box off the shelf, reading the ingredients. "Eggs… cooking oil… water… milk…" I put all the ingredients down on the counter. Damn, I didn't have any frosting. I felt too lazy to go to the store to buy it myself, so I picked up my phone to call Carly. I shuddered and remembered what she was doing. I scrolled down my contacts to find some sorry soul to buy my frosting.

**Gibby**… No way that potato was going to be in my house.

**Mom**_… _Partying it up in Vegas or something.

**Mrs. Benson**_… _Why was she even on here?

**Freddork**… Well, I'd rather it be him than anyone else… I clicked on his number.

"_Hello?_"

I burped into the phone.

"_Oh. Hey Sam. What do you want?_"

"Buy me frosting, Benson."

"_Why do you need frosting? Go get it yourself._"

"I'm making **cupcakes**. Buy me frosting, now."

"_Sa-am_."

I decided to try something out. I made my voice higher than usual. "Aw, Freddie, please? For me, your girlfriend?"

"_Ugh. Fine. I'll be at your house in ten minutes_."

I heard the click of the end of the phone call. I smirked. I so owned his ass.

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><p><strong>Ten Minutes Later…<strong>

"You see you can't just play with people's feelings. Tell them you love them and don't mean it. You'll probably say that I was juvenile. But I think that I deserve to smile…"

I danced around, cradling the bowl of cake mix in my left arm. I mixed the batter while I twirled around the kitchen.

"I bust the windows out your car. You know I did it, cause I left my mark. Left my initials with a crowbar. And then I drove up into the dark…"

"Wow, remind me not to ever break your heart, Puckett. But, you know, it's not like I'd ever do that."

I jumped and the bowl clattered to the ground, splattering the batter all over the place. "Holy crap! Look what you made me do, Benson!" I glared up at Freddie who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, holding the plastic grocery bag limply in his hand.

He scrambled over to me. "Chiz! I'm sorry, Sam! I didn't mean to! Here let me help you…"

I slapped away his hands and shooed him to the counter. "Calm down, Frednub. I'll clean this up. Just… ugh." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I'm really so –"

I flicked some batter at him. It hit him right in the face. "I told you to calm down."

His eyes widened and he slowly raised a hand to wipe the gooey mixture off his face. He looked at the batter in his hand, then at me, and then back at the batter.

I shook my head. "Oh, nuh-uh Benson. Do not even think about it."

He smirked and then cocked his arm back. Before he could throw, I flicked another handful at him, this time hitting him on the chest.

"Puckett, you're so gonna get it!" He lobbed the batter at me, but I ducked and heard it hit the wall behind me. I jumped up, grabbing the mixing bowl.

"Catch me if you can, Benson!"

Soon it was a full-fledged battle. Cupcake batter flew all over the kitchen. Both Freddie and I were shouting, laughing, and covered in cupcake batter from head-to-toe. My fingers hit the bottom of the bowl. I dropped it on the floor.

"Damn. I'm all out of ammo, Benson."

Freddie smirked and held up one last handful of batter. "Do you surrender, Sammy?"

I was out of options. So I did what a Puckett was expected to do. I pounced. I caught Freddie around the middle and pinned his hands over his head. "I'll never surrender!"

Freddie started laughing. "Alright, alright, Princess Puckett. _I'll _surrender."

I let go of his arms. "Good." On impulse, I bent over and licked some cupcake batter off his nose. I smirked when his cheeks flushed a rosy red. "C'mon, Frederly, let's wash this stuff off."

He looked up at me. "With water?"

I rolled my eyes. "No with melted butter, dork."

He smiled and swiped some batter off of my cheek with his index finger. "But Sam, I think it'll be easier to just lick it off each other, don't you?" He slowly licked the batter off his finger. My eyes widened and this time I was the one blushing. I've never seen him be so… _sexy _before.

"I uh, ahem…" _Wow, nice comeback, Puckett._

"What's the matter, Sam? Star-struck by my attempts at seducing you?"

And that killed the mood. "Wow. Way to be suave, Fredchiz." I stood up and pulled him to his feet.

He tugged on one of my curls. "Dang it, Sam. I was so sure we were going to…" He trailed off and did some weird twirling motion with his fingers.

I scoffed and punched him in the arm. "Ugh, get your head out of the gutter, Fredperv." Freddie pouted as he rubbed his upper arm. "Besides," I poked him in the chest, "I'm still mad at you for ruining what could've been the best cupcakes in the world." I tossed my hair over my shoulder and strutted out of the kitchen, purposely swaying my hips back and forth more than usual.

"Dude, you're killing me." I heard Freddie groan.

Before stepping out of the kitchen, I turned back to Freddie and smirked. "Hey, Benson?"

He looked at me hopefully. "Yes, Princess?"

My smirk widened. "After I clean off this batter, I think we can have a little bit of fun with that frosting you bought." I winked and sent him a flying kiss before running off to my bathroom.

I laughed when Freddie yelled from the kitchen.

"Vanilla or chocolate?"

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><p><strong>Ha, that was fun (x Did anyone catch that iQ reference? Oh T-Bo...<strong>

**Sooo, how am I doing so far? Leave a review please!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**

**PS - Did anyone else notice that I haven't been putting disclaimers in any of the chapters? Wanna know why? Because I owned iCarly for a little bit... SIIIKE.**


	5. NINE

**Okay, so I'm leaving for an out of town dance convention tomorrow, so I decided to post one more chapter for you guys! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, I'm finally putting one of these. But I'm not going to say _it_.

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><p><strong>NINE.<strong>

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_In which Sam and Carly rate boys and have a serious conversation…_

| CARLY'S P.O.V. |

"Caaarls! Hurry up, my belly's screaming bloody murder here! Bring me ham!"

I rolled my eyes at my best friend's over dramatics. "I'm on my way up! Calm down!"

"BRING SAM HAM! BRING SAM HAM! BRING SAM HAM!"

My hands were full of food, so I popped the iCarly studio door open with my hip. I dropped the mountain of food in the middle of two beanbag chairs sitting in front of the TV. "_Viola!_ Here's your food, Sam."

At the word 'food', Sam's head bobbed up from where she was lying on the hood of the car couch. She jumped up launched herself onto the red bean bag chair. She ripped open a pack of Fatcakes and crammed one of the sugary cakes into her mouth. "Mmm.." she moaned. She flipped onto her back and rubbed her stomach. "Yes tummy, I know… so delicious…"

I laughed at Sam's "tummy-talking", as I called it. "Sam, judging by how happy that Fatcake is making you, one would think you haven't eaten in days."

She shrugged and stuffed the other Fatcake into her mouth. "What can I say? All this girly ranting you're doing is making me hungry."

I curled up on the bean bag next opposite of her and folded my arms over my chest. "Girly ranting is healthy for teenage girls, you know."

Sam picked up a package of sour gummy worms. She shook one at me before putting it in her mouth. "Not when you do it for freakin' five hours straight!"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Eh, it was only three. Don't get your panties in a bunch." I laughed when I saw Sam cringe at the word 'panties'.

"Don't use that word, Shay."

I slapped her shoulder lightly. "Sam, you're a seventeen year old girl, I think it's time to ditch the boxer shorts and start wearing _panties_." I put emphasis on the last word. I felt something hit me in the forehead. I glared at Sam, who was innocently chewing on half of a gummy worm. "Did you just throw a gummy worm at me?"

She smiled angelically. "Why yes I did, Carlaay!" she said, using a mock British accent.

I rolled my eyes and decide it would be best to change the subject. I clapped my hands together and picked delicately at a bowl of pretzels. "Let's talk about boys!"

Sam grunted. "No. Didn't we already talk about the male species?"

I waggled a finger. "Yes, but we didn't _rate _members of the male species."

Sam threw the empty bag of gummy worms to the floor and picked up a container of ham. She put a slice in her mouth. Still chewing, she started talking. "Rating guys? Really, Carls? What are we? Silly little freshmen tweens?"

I shushed her. "Oh c'mon Sam, it's fun! Let's do it! I'll start. On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate Blaine?"

"Who the hell's Blaine?"

I looked at her disbelievingly. "Uh, hello! Blaine Drake, captain of the soccer team?"

She pointed a slice of ham at me. "Swishy blonde hair, hazel eyes?" I nodded dreamily. "Eh, I give him a five."

I gasped. "Five? Ohmigod Sam, he's _at least _an seven. Maybe an eight because his eyes are so pretty."

Sam gave me a very unlady-like snort. "Yeah, his boyfriend thinks so, too."

"He likes boys?" I gave her a look.

We pumped our fists in the air. "Right on," we said in unison.

"Okay, moving on."

Sam laughed. "How 'bout someone that likes girls this time."

I tapped a finger on my chin. "Ooo! Harvey Montoya, you know, the bad boy with the leather jacket."

"Didn't you learn your lesson on bad boys with Griffin?"

I grinned guiltily. "But bad boys are still super hot."

Sam tore another piece of ham and jerked her head to the right. "Eh, whatever. I give him a two."

I scratched the top of my head. "You rate the hot bad boy who drives a motorcycle even lower that the soccer captain who likes the same gender as we do?"

"Oh please, Carly. That Harvey dude's a total douche bag. His life's goal is to deflower every living thing that wears a skirt. Plus, he's a complete pothead. And Mama no likey the potheads."

I nodded. "Very true. Okay, um, how about…" I smiled at Sam and poked her on the shoulder. "…Freddie." Sam spat out a chunk of ham and doubled over, laughing. I gave her an 'ew' look. "Sam? I asked you what you would rate Freddie."

She put a hand over her eyes and just kept laughing. "I –" Laugh "give Freddie –" Laugh "a –" Laugh "negative two."

I frowned at her. "A negative two? At least rate him in the positive digits! He's your boyfriend for crying out loud!"

Sam's laughter slowed, but she still had a little half smile on her face. "I know it, Shay. He's a pretty good boyfriend, too."

I crossed my arms. "Fine, then give me your _actual _rating of Freddie."

Sam pointed a finger at me with a serious expression on her face. "What I say does not, under any circumstances, leave this room, got it?"

I nodded, kind of excited that I would get to see the mushy gushy side of Sam.

She bit her lip and then flipped herself upside down onto the bean bag chair. She blew a stray curl out of her face. "Well… he puts up with all my crap. He understands the burdens of having a psycho mom. He's gotten all tall and stuff, so it makes me feel safe when we're cuddling or whatever. I like how he knows how to make me smile. I like how he's willing to go to the grocery store in the middle of the night just to get me bacon. I like how we can be on the phone for hours talking about all sorts of chiz. I love how I can be whoever I want to be when I'm around him. And…" she started blushing "… he's pretty hot."

I think I actually started tearing up at the end of her little speech. I held a hand to my heart. "Aw Sam, that was so sweet." I sniffled.

She threw an arm over her face. "Shut up, Carly. You're not making this emotional chiz any easier."

I just smiled and then turned over onto my stomach. I rested my chin in the palm of my hand. "So, what's your rating for him?"

She took her arm off of her face and starting playing around with one of her curls. "Uh, a **nine**."

"Not that nine's a bad score or anything, but why not just give him a ten? He's pretty much the perfect boyfriend to you."

Sam sighed. "Well that's the thing Carly. If I gave Freddie a ten, he'd be perfect. And I…" she frowned "… I don't deserve perfection."

I raised my eyebrows at her words. _She doesn't deserve perfection? _"What are you taking about, Sam? Everyone deserves some form of perfection."

She snorted. "Well, I don't. Carly, I'm Sam Puckett, the reigning terror of Seattle. I eat too much, I hate old people, I don't have manners… dude, I don't even like wearing the underwear fit for my gender. Everything about me messed up and broken. Definitely qualities not worthy of perfection. I'm lucky that Freddie hasn't dumped my ass yet. I'm a shitty girlfriend who doesn't do squat for him. I just… ugh. Damn it, Shay. You made me all emotional and weak."

I felt surprised at the emotion in her voice. It sounded like she spent a lot of time thinking about stuff like this. I sat up and kneeled next to her. "Sam." She kept her eyes trained on the ceiling. "Freddie loves you. And you love him. A lot. That's all he needs from you, Sam. And you're not a chizzy girlfriend. You do a lot of things that make Freddie happy without even trying." Her eyes flickered towards me. I pressed on. "You… make him laugh. You listen to his obsessive mom problems. You toughen him up. I see the look in his eyes whenever you just walk into the room. Sam, in his eyes, you're perfection."

She sat up and then leaned her head onto my shoulder. "Well then he should get his eyes check." She sounded sad, but the small smile on her face told me she was joking around. She looked up at me. "Thanks for making me feel better, kid."

I ruffled her hair. "That's what best friends are for, Sam."

She lifted her head up and then looked at me solemnly. "Remember Shay, this conversation does not leave this room."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just eat your Fatcakes."

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><p><strong>Yup, wanted to do a best friendsy story for y'all! Hope it was good :D <strong>

**Oh, points (and a shout out in the next chapter) to anyone who can tell me where the whole 'fist-pump and "Right on" bit' is from!**

**Reviews = Love!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	6. COMB

**Heeey party rockers (x So I'm baaack from my dance convention, so here's a new chapter!**

**Oh and congrats to:**

**clowny vamp qween ; SeddieBenett ; aapeters ; and Eat-Sleep-Read for recognizing the Princess Diaries II reference in the last chapter! YAY to you guys! :D**

**And thanks to everyone who reviewed. Love y'alls! Anywho, on with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: **iCarly's mine, I tell you! Mine! *sob* Oh, the wonders of wishful thinking.

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><p><strong>COMB.<strong>

**.**

**.**

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_In which we find out what lead to Freddie brushing Sam's hair…_

| FREDDIE'S P.O.V. |

There was a loud belch from the opposite side of the iCarly studio.

"Wow, real attractive, Sammy." I glanced up at my girlfriend. She was sitting upside down on a red beanbag chair.

"Aw, thanks, baby." She smirked and thumped a fist against her chest, burping a second time.

I rolled my eyes and tried focusing on the updates I was trying to put on the iCarly website before we started filming the show tonight. But it was hard to do, considering Sam started burping out the alphabet. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried drowning out her loud burps. She was on 'J' when I decided to intervene.

"Sam, is there something you want? I have to finish this before the web-show," I whined, waving a hand towards my laptop.

Sam rolled onto her stomach and propped her elbows up, resting her chin onto her interlaced fingers. She sighed. "Well, my dear Fredducini, I _really _want to make out with my boyfriend right now, but he's too busy with his little nerd box!"

I felt my cheeks heat up at the words 'make out'. A sudden image of Sam and me rolling around on the studio ground, attached at the lips, popped into my head. I shook my head and tried to erase the image. "Sam, I really have to finish these updates, save the kissing for later." I turned back to the laptop screen, fighting to keep my mind from straying to anymore images of me kissing the snot out of Sam.

She burped out the word 'Loser' and then fell silent. _Thank God, she fell asleep or something. I can focus now. _I spent a couple of minutes completely indulged in my work. Suddenly, there was a pair of arms around my middle. I jumped. "What the …?"

There was a growl next to my left ear. "Nobody denies Mama of anything, Benson." I felt her soft lips press against the back of my neck.

"I'm trying to concen –" I felt something wet and warm traveling up from the base of my neck to the tip of my left earlobe. _Oh my chiz. Sam is _licking _me._ "Wait… s-stop it, Sam… I have to make the u-updates to the…" She started making a trail of kisses back to the base of my neck.

Sam let go of my middle and whipped me around so I was face-to-face with her. She placed a kiss onto my jawline. "Baby," she muttered, "would you rather be making updates or making out?" Her gray-blue eyes were smoldering. I lost all ability to function properly.

"I – well – m-maybe –" _Wow, way to sound smart, you nub!_

Sam smirked and then mimicked my stutters. She brushed a hand over my cheek before grabbing me roughly by the collar. "I'll take that as a yes to the making out." Her lips pressed to mine. I hesitated for about half a second before melting into the kiss.

_Oh, screw it. _I opened my mouth and soon it was a tongue battle for dominance. Instead of letting my hands hang limply by my sides, I plunged them into her curly mess of blonde hair. We broke apart. _F you, need for damn oxygen. _After ten seconds of heavy breathing, a mischievous sparkle went off in Sam's eyes.

"So, you still gonna make those updates, Freddie-o?" She attacked my face with her lips again.

I returned the favor and made a line of kisses along her jaw. She moaned quietly. I attached my lips to hers and ran my hand through her hair. My fingers snagged onto an unruly knot. Sam pulled away with a loud yelp.

"Dude! That hurt! What the chiz, man?" She untangled herself from me and rubbed the back of her head.

I felt like smacking myself. Too many perfectly good make out opportunities have been ruined by this. "Dang it, Sam, Why does this always happen? Don't you have a **comb** or something to detangle those knots?"

"Fredwad, a wimpy comb cannot even think about taming Mama's wild curls." She whipped her hair around dramatically.

"Well, do you have a brush?" She nodded and I held out my hand. She raised an eyebrow. "Give it to me. I'm going to brush your hair."

Sam snorted. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any girlier, Princess Frederella."

I glared at her and just kept holding my hand out expectantly. "Do you _want _to keep losing hair, Puckett?" She huffed and then dug into her black and red checkered backpack, pulling out a blue hairbrush. She chucked it at my head and I caught right before it hit me in the face. "Aw, it's not going to be that bad, Sammy. I think I'm pretty good at brushing hair," I said, pulling the blue beanbag chair next to her and plopping down on it. She turned away from me and crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. I smirked and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to nestle in between my knees. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Ready, Puckett?"

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Fredwich, let's just get this chiz over with." I raised the brush and slowly ran it through her curls. A surge of satisfaction burst through me when I heard her let out a content little sigh. I smirked and brushed through another curl.

"See? It's not all that bad, is it, Sam?"

She reached around to smack me on the forehead. "Hush now, Frederly. Just brush my hair." She leaned into my chest a little.

"Your wish is my command, Princess Puckett." I pulled her hair back and finished brushing it, making sure there were no more knots and tangles. I set the brush down and ran my fingers through her now knot-free curls. "Feel better?"

She turned to face me and folded her legs underneath her. She flicked her bangs out of her eyes and shrugged. "Eh, I guess that was alright."

I stuck out my bottom lip and feigned a pout. "Just _alright_?"

Sam poked me on the cheek. "Aw baby, don't be upset." I kept pouting. But my face broke into a smile when she leaned in and kissed me.

I kissed her on the forehead. "Okay, I'm not upset anymore. You're hair looks great, by the way."

She rolled her eyes, but I caught her small smile. "Yeah, yeah, I'm freakin' drop dead gorgeous," she said sarcastically.

I smiled and then pulled her to her feet. I bumped her with my hip playfully. "Like always, Princess."

She smirked and then pulled me closer. "Well, my hair's untangled. Now, we can make out without any interruptions." She cocked her head to the left. "Shall we?" I tugged on the belt loop of her jeans.

"We shall."

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><p><strong>Whoop there it is! LOL. Yeah, so was anyone else curious about why Freddie brushed Sam's hair in iDate Sam and Freddie? 'Cause I waaas! And so, this chapter was born! [POWERPUFF GIRLS, FTW!]<strong>

**Mk, please review this chapter! And maybe, just maybe, I'll post another chapter later on tonight... [:**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	7. SUNSETS

**Yeeah, buddy! You ready for this? Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: **A lone figure dressed in black approaches me from behind. He taps me on the shoulder. "So, word on the street is that you wanna get iCarly." I nod. "That's right. You got the stuff?" I hold out my hand slyly. He hands me a slip of paper and walks away with his shoulders hunched over. I look around and then unfold the paper. I read it. _Give it up, kid. You'll never own iCarly. _I crumple up the paper and toss it on the ground. "Goddamnit."

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><p><strong>SUNSETS.<strong>

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**.**

**.**

_In which Freddie and Sam watch the sunset..._

| FREDDIE'S P.O.V. |

Carly, Spencer, and I were sitting on the couch, laughing about the horrible romantic comedy Carly had just forced us to watch. I checked my watch. 6:35; the sun was going to set soon.

"I'm going to visit her," I said, standing up suddenly. The Shay siblings' laughter faltered. I saw them exchange a look. Carly gave me a sad smile and Spencer shot me a sympathetic glance.

"Kay, Freddie. Don't forget a jacket, might get chilly out there." Carly tossed me my jacket that was hanging on the armrest next to her. I slipped the jacket on and gave the two of them a small wave before heading out the door. I took the elevator down to the lobby and snuck past a snoring Lewbert.

The cold December air nipped at my face when I opened the lobby door. I stuck my hands in my pockets and made my way down the almost empty street. I kept walking until I was in front of a small park and then headed towards the playground.

I sat on a bench and looked around, searching for her. Some days she was there. Others she wasn't. But regardless of whether or not she was there, I always waited around for her.

"How goes it, Fredward?"

I smiled. She was sitting on the swings, kicking her legs back and forth. That was one of her favorite spots to show up. We would spend hours there, me pushing her higher and higher until she was flying. I made my way over and sat on the swing next to her. "Hey Sammy."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't call me that, Frednub." But she smiled after, so I knew she wasn't being too serious. We sat in silence for a few moments. Then, Sam broke that silence.

"So how've you been, Benson?" she asked quietly.

I sighed. "Uh, better, I guess."

"Carly and Spence?"

"Same old, same old. Carly's sad smiles, Spencer's sympathetic glances. I think they're worried about me," I told her.

She snorted loudly. "What'd you expect? You've been coming to this park every afternoon for the past two years to watch **sunsets** and chat with your dead girlfriend; of course they're going to worry."

I shook my head slowly. "I don't tell them that. I just say I'm visiting you," I said softly. A tender expression spread across Sam's face and she got off her swing to walk towards a bench. Our bench. Or at least what used to be our bench. I followed her there. She scooted closer, but didn't touch me. She never did. She couldn't.

I looked into her grayish-blue eyes and she offered me a small smile. "Freddie, maybe it's time you –"

I cut her off quickly. "Nuh-uh, Sam. We're not having this conversation. I promised you I'd never forget you. This is my way of keeping that promise."

Sam looked down and drew her knees to her chest. "Freddie, it's been two years since the car accident. I think it's for the best that you move o-"

I interrupted her again. "I said I would never forget you, goddamnit!" I balled my hands into fists.

Sam untangled herself and rose angrily. "When will you get it, Benson? I'm not telling you to forget me! I'm telling you to move on with your life! You have to finish college, get your dream job, and live to be successful! Why won't you go out and do that? Isn't all of that part of your new and improved Freddie Benson master plan?"

I pounded my fists against the bench. "The entire _Freddie Benson master plan_ was ruined the day you died! You were supposed to be there right next to me for all of those things. You and I were supposed to graduate from the University of Seattle. You and I were supposed to get our dream jobs. You as a restaurant owner, me as the CEO of the Pear Company. You and I were supposed to live to be successful, _together_. But you're not here to do all of those things with me anymore! I need you for all those plans, Sam. I n-n-need you so b-bad…" I trailed off, tears streaming down my face. I swiped them off roughly; I didn't know I had started crying.

Sam moved towards me again, her own face streaked with tears. I wanted to wipe all her tears away and pull her into my arms, but I couldn't touch her. "Freddie. Freddie, you have to do it. For me. Go out and do all of those things for me. For the both of us," she pleaded.

I shook my head and looked down at my sneakers. "I won't." My voice was scratchy from the yelling and tears. "I can't. You're not with me."

"Look at me, Fredward." I raised my eyes and saw her with her right hand held up and her left hand pointing at my chest. "I, Samantha Puckett, swear that I will be with you every step of the way. In there, Benson. In your heart. But, only if you, Freddie Benson, swear that you will move on with your life, living it fully for the both of us."

My right hand trembled as I raised it up to mirror her own. "I, Fredward Benson, swear to never forget you, Samantha Puckett, but I will move on with my life, carrying you in my heart as long as I shall live."

I heard Sam chuckle lightly and say, "Amen, Benson." Leave it to Sam to try and ruin the most serious of declarations.

I took a deep breath and turned to her. "Sam, I have one last request before I say goodbye to you."

"Anything, Freddie."

"Kiss me."

I watched her look up into the sky, as if asking God for permission. Then she leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. At first, there was nothing. But then I felt a faint warmth, like she was really there kissing me. I closed my eyes and a wave of memories flowed through my mind.

_I was on the fire escape with Sam. "Well, lean." Our lips meet-_

_I was in Ridgeway's court yard. Sam has her hands on my shoulders and she's kissing me-_

_I was in a fancy restaurant. Sam's wearing a pretty purple dress and she has her eyes closed, savoring the taste of her food-_

_I was in a dark movie theater. Sam and I are holding hands, throwing popcorn at the people in the rows in front of us-_

_I was at Carly's apartment. Sam runs in screaming. "I got in! I got in! Freddie, we're going to the University of Seattle, baby!" She jumps into my arms-_

_I was in a fancy hotel room. It's Senior Prom. The door's locked and I have Sam pressed up against the wall. Her kisses are hot and heavy. Our hands are exploring each other's bodies. At first we're shy, new to the feelings we're experiencing. The something clicks and we both give in to the passion. She fumbles with my bowtie and I toy with the hem of her dress until I feel the soft skin of her leg-_

_I was wearing a white cap and gown. Sam's strutting onto stage in her blue cap and gown. Right before she receives her diploma, she roars triumphantly and then blows me a kiss-_

_I was lugging a couple of heavy boxes into an apartment. Sam strolls in through the door, holding nothing but a small brown box. She inhales and says, "University of Seattle better be ready for us, Fredderly." She smirks-_

_I'm in the driver's seat and Sam's sitting on the passenger's side with her feet propped up on the dashboard. We're driving home from a late night study session at an off-campus coffee shop. It's almost Christmas and the streets are lit up by the strings of Christmas lights hanging along the buildings we drive past. We're laughing and singing loudly and off-key to the holiday song that's playing on the radio. Sam suddenly stops singing and smiles. "I love you Freddie," she says. I give her a slightly confused look. "Love you too, Sammy." She laughs at my expression. "I know I don't say it all the time, so I just wanted you to know." I turn my head towards her, about to say that I knew exactly what she was talking about. I'm cut short by a sudden, extremely painful jerk and I get a face full of air bag. I feel something small and warm press up against the right side of my body-_

_Carly and Spencer's hushed voices. "They were hit by a drunk driver…" "She was on the side he hit… airbag didn't deploy… killed on impact…" "Freddie's a miracle… just bruised a couple ribs, broke his arm, possible concussion… supposed to have died… doc said something must've been protecting him from the impact…" "… don't think Sam could've, I dunno, shielded him?" "… impossible. She couldn't have had enough time to react…" "Poor Freddie… he's going to be so heartbroken when he finds out-"_

There's Sam. She's wearing a pair of denim cut-offs and my Penny Tee with the words 'SPECIAL HAM' printed on it is hanging loosely on her petite frame. She's running around in her black Converse sneakers, laughing with her blonde curls flying, her beautiful blue eyes sparkling…

I opened my eyes and found myself alone. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon. A cold breeze sent a shiver down my spine. _See ya 'round, Freddork. Love ya…_ An echo of Sam's unforgettable laugh flew around with the wind. I looked at the disappearing sun. "See you around, Princess Puckett. I love you, too," I whispered. Then, I threw my head into my hands and cried like a baby.

Right when my watch beeped midnight, Carly and Spencer found me still sitting on our bench, contemplating the stars. I rose from the bench and the two Shays pulled me into a group hug.

"You going to be okay, kiddo?" Spencer asked in a quiet voice. I stepped back from the hug, looked at the stars one more time and nodded, smiling softly.

"Yeah. I think I'm going to be just fine."

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><p><strong>Woo, got all teary while I wrote this. ;_;<strong>

**Yeah, this was one of my first stories. I deleted it and did some editing so I could put it as part of this story. Hope it made you all emotional and chiz, 'cause that's the reaction I was looking for ._.**

**Review pleeease [:**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	8. YES

**Don't worry I didn't die or anything. I've just been super busy and I haven't been able to update everyday like I want to. My apologies... So I hope you enjoys this chapter. **

**Disclaimer**: _Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is iCarly. Love, DEETRIXJAAY / Dear DEETRIXJAAY, sorry. That's impossible. Sincerely, Santa._

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><p><strong>YES.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which Sam gets asked to homecoming…_

| SAM'S P.O.V. |

"Hey, will you go to homecoming with me?"

"OMG, of course I'll go to homecoming with you!"

I grimaced as a skinny redhead girl accepted a bouquet of lilies from a tall blonde guy. He swept her up in a bear hug and twirled her around in a circle. I felt like gagging. That was the fifth time today a girl has been asked to homecoming via flower bouquet. And quite honestly, it was getting annoying. I didn't see why people got so hyped up whenever someone got asked to homecoming. So far, nobody has come up with an original way of asking a girl to the dance. The hallway broke out in applause. I looked over at Carly who was clapping along with the rest of the students. I gave her a look.

"Really, Carls? C'mon, that's the fifth time someone's been asked to homecoming with a bouquet of flowers. All these guys are being such biters." Carly turned to me and pouted.

"But Sam," she dragged out the 'a', "flowers are so adorable, especially if a guy gives you a bouquet of your favorite flowers. I mean, if a guy came up to me with –" A bouquet of tulips were suddenly shoved in between Carly and me, interrupting our conversation. I looked to my left and saw Heath Johnson, quarterback of Ridgeway's football team, holding out the flowers with a wide grin on his face. He cleared his throat.

"Carly Shay, will you go to homecoming with me?"

Carly's jaw dropped. She gaped for a few seconds and then hastily shut her mouth. She put on one of her flirty smiles. She giggled. "Yeah, okay." She took the bouquet in her arms and then curled a piece of hair with her index finger. Heath flashed her a cocky smile and then flipped his hair out of his eyes.

"Cool, see you then, Carly." He winked at her and then walked away with his Neanderthal football friends.

I snorted and caught Carly smiling down at her tulips. "Well, lucky you. You get to go to homecoming with Justin Bieber."

Carly rolled her eyes and smacked me on the arm playfully. "Don't call him that."

I shrugged and took a slice of ham out of my locker. "You have to admit," I stuffed the slice into my mouth, "he does flip his hair a lot. Dude's gonna have a chiz load of neck problems later in life."

Carly adjusted the bouquet in her arms and frowned at me. "Hey, at least I _have_ a date to homecoming!" I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and she immediately slapped her free hand out of her mouth. "Oh, wait Sam, I totally didn't mean it like that. I'm so sor–"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Eh, whatever Shay. It's not like that isn't true."

Carly put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Well, tons of guys actually have asked you, you know…"

I shrugged of her hand and started opening a package of Fatcakes. "Yeah, but the guys that have asked me all asked me in the same lame way."

"Sam, Tommy Peterson asked you with a huge bouquet of yellow roses; those are your favorite flowers!"

I wrinkled my nose. "Yes, but every girl gets asked to homecoming with flowers. I want to be asked in a different way."

Carly tilted her head to the side. "How so?"

I nibbled on the corner of a Fatcake. "Let's just say Mama wants to be swept off her feet. I know it seems girly, coming from me. But if a guy is going to ask me to homecoming, he has to pretty much blow my brains out."

Carly shuddered. "Um, ew."

I laughed. "Oh, get over it priss. But, for real, I want to be asked to homecoming in a way that'll kick all the other ways guys asked girls to homecoming in their sorry asses."

"Any way you want in particular?" Carly asked, sniffing at the petals of her tulips.

I bit my lip and looked around, if anyone heard this, I'd have to kill them for hearing me say something so girly. "Well, I've always wanted a guy to sing to me. Maybe."

Carly stuck out her bottom lip. "Aw, Sam that's so cute!"

I rolled my eyes and shut my locker. "Shut up, Shay. It's not like it's going to happen anyways…"

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><p><em>After school the next day…<em>

| FREDDIE'S P.O.V. |

"_Well, I've always wanted a guy to sing to me."_

I let out a shaky breath. My heart was pounding out of my chest. And my stomach? Well, forget about butterflies, there was a whole herd of elephants in there. I stood in the empty driveway of the Puckett household and stared up at Sam's window. I could hear the latest Cuttlefish song blaring from the room. My watch beeped. 4:30 PM; time to put my plan in action. I picked up a good-sized rock and turned it over in my hand. I tossed it lightly towards the window, frowning when it fell just short of hitting the glass. _Wow, Sam's right; I do throw like a girl. _I picked up another pebble and threw it, this time with more force. It hit the glass hard enough to make a satisfying 'clink'. I waited a couple seconds. The music from inside the room died down and I saw Sam stick her head out of the window. She rolled her eyes when she saw it was me outside of her window.

"What do you want, Freddork?"

"I need to –" my voice cracked "– ahem – I need to ask you something, Sam."

She sat on the edge of the window sill, dangling her legs over the edge. She rested her elbows onto her knees and tucked her chin into her palm. "Make it quick, dude. Mama wants to take a nap." I just stood there for a minute, preparing myself for my next move. "C'mon, Fredchiz! I don't have all day!"

I turned around and pulled a PearPod dock out of my backpack. I plugged in my PearPhone and raised the volume all the way up. I looked up at Sam. "Ready, Puckett?" She responded with a raise of her eyebrows. I sighed. "Here goes nothing," I muttered under my breath. I tapped the play button and a familiar tune floated out of the speakers. I took a deep breath and started singing along with the instrumentals.

"_All my friends are coming over, and I hope nobody told her. She has a way of turning sunshine into rain. I've got on that shirt she hates,_" I pointed at my blue and white striped shirt, "_I just know that face she'll make,_" I smiled at her disgusted expression.

"_Even though it hurts, she's favorite pain._" I watched her disgusted expression change to shock, and then settle into one of indifference. My smile faltered a bit, but I pressed on. "_She never drives her car, she drive me crazy. She ran out of gas, and somehow I'm the one to blame._" I stepped closer to the window and smiled up at her.

"_I'll take her out; drop her of on the outskirts of our town. I'd leave a trail of roses that lead back home. She'll pick a fight for no good reason; she knows I'll never leave._" I looked straight into her eyes. "_I love her half to death, but she's killing me._" Sam's expression stayed blank, so I knew I had to step up my game. I walked towards the bushes on the side of her house and pulled out my guitar, which I had snuck there earlier. I pulled the strap over my head and walked back in front of Sam's window.

She was gone. I felt the sting of rejection all the way from the top of my head down to my toes. I sighed and started collecting my things. _What were you expecting, man? You serenade her and then she comes running into your arms? Dude, she's Sam Puckett. She doesn't do that chiz. _I was pulled out of my inner rant by a shuffling noise from behind me. I turned around.

Sam was standing there with her arms crossed and a frown on her face. "Were you really gonna leave before you finished your song, Benson?" A slow smile crept onto my face. I tugged on her hand and pulled her over to the hood of my car. She hopped on it and situated herself with her legs crossed Indian-style. She looked at me. "Well?"

My smile widened and I brushed my fingers across the guitar strings. "_And I wouldn't have it any other way. She can change her clothes. She can change her hair. But she'll always be the same…_" I went around and opened my car door, pulling out a bouquet of yellow roses, which I knew were her favorite. I hand them to her.

"_I went out and bought her roses. She complained about the thorns_." She tried biting her lip to keep from smiling. I smirked. "_I caught her smiling and that's what I do it for…_" She drew a single rose out from the bouquet and bopped me on the top of the head with the petal-side. I caught her hand and stepped closer to her so that our faces were mere inches apart. I leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"_I love her half to death, but she's killing me._" Before I could chicken out, I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then stepped back. I hooked my thumbs onto my front pockets. "So Sam…" I saw her smirk.

"So Freddie…"

I cleared my throat. "Will you go to homecoming with me?" I took a deep breath. "Please say okay," I added pathetically.

"Hm…" Sam stroked an imaginary beard on her chin and tilted her head to the left. "No."

My jaw dropped and that sting of rejection washed over me again. "Oh. Well…" I started turning to leave. I felt her hand clamp onto my wrist. She whipped me around so I was facing her. She was standing up now, no longer sitting on the hood of my car. She pulled my close and my heart started racing.

"I won't just say **yes**," she pressed her lips to mine and pulled away too soon for my liking. She smirked at my pout and then grabbed my collar, pulling me down so I was eye-level with her.

"But, _hell yes_."

* * *

><p><strong>A one-shot in honor of homecoming, which was yesterday for my school. Sorry if it seemed rushed or something...<strong>

**Can anyone name the song Freddie was singing? Shout out in the next chapter for those who can! (BTW, that has been my favorite song since FOREVER.)**

**So leave a review telling me what you think! Oh and if you have a request for which word to use next, go ahead and tell me! I need some ideas... [:**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**

**PS - The whole 'not just yes but hell yes' thing was from a past story of mine called Not Just Yes, But HELL YES. Wanna read it and leave a review for it (x**


	9. JEALOUSY

***Gasp* Two updates in one day! Hell to the yeah. LOL. **

**Shout out to (drum roll please): SeddieBenett; lulu halulu; clowny vamp qween; and Eat-Sleep-Read for recognizing the song in the last chapter: She's Killing Me by A Rocket To The Moon. BEST. SONG. IN. THE. FREAKING. WORLD. It's just so wonerfully Seddie :D**

**Disc-lame-er: **I. DON'T. OWN. iCARLY. But I do own Guppy. Well, I wish I did.

* * *

><p><strong>JEALOUSY.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which Freddie gets jealous…_

| FREDDIE'S P.O.V. |

I'm not usually one to let **jealousy **control my emotions. But something just takes over when your girlfriend is all over another guy. It had been going on for almost three hours. She would pinch his cheeks, snuggle with him on the couch, and kiss him on the forehead.

Stupid Guppy Gibson.

I huffed when I saw Sam, yet again, give Guppy a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek and pull him into a big hug.

"Guppy, my little man, you are just too cute." She patted him on the top of his head and turned to me. "Isn't he, Fredhead?"

I forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, just too cute." When Sam turned back to start playing a game of 'Slide' with Guppy, I gagged.

Carly and Spencer drove up to Yakima yesterday to visit their Granddad. Gibby tagged along, claiming they sold the best liquid soap there. And since Gibby and Guppy's mom was out of town, Guppy had been left in the care of Sam, who held a soft spot for the chubby seven year old.

Guppy picked up Sam's hand and place a small kiss on it. "You'we supew pwetty, Sam." I frowned as Sam let out an uncharacteristic giggle. She pulled her hand out of Guppy's hold and placed it on her chest.

"Aw Gup, you sure know how to make a girl blush." She winked at him and I felt jealousy bubble up in my stomach. Okay, I know the kid is only seven, but hey, there's only so much a guy can take. Sam looked up at me and patted the spot on the couch next to her. "C'mere, Fredderly. Let's watch some TV. It's a new episode of _America Sings_."

I secretly let out a happy sigh; at least I would get to _sit_ next to my own girlfriend. I stood up from the kitchen counter stool and made my way to the couch. But before I could sit down, Guppy let out a huge yawn. He tugged on one of Sam's curls to get her attention away from me. "I'm sleepy. Can I lie down to take a nap, Sam?"

Sam smiled and then scooted over to where I was going to sit. "Sure thing, kiddo." She laid a pillow on her lap and rested Guppy's head on it while he stretched his legs, taking up the remaining space on the couch.

"Uh, where am I supposed to sit now?"

Sam shrugged up at me unconcernedly. "I dunno. Just sit on the floor or something." I sighed and then settled myself on the floor, my back leaning against the edge of the couch right next to Sam's legs. When I knew Sam was focused on the _America Sings _auditions, I glared up at Guppy. He surprised me by smirking back cockily. I growled. The little punk was doing all of this on purpose! I rolled my eyes and tried focusing on the next singer on TV.

"_Do you think you're a good singer?_" the grumpy British judge asked the brunette lady that was auditioning. She smiled confidently. "_Of course, every Friday night I get to perform at a club and people are always yelling for me._" The judge raised an eyebrow and then gestured for the woman to begin. She cleared her throat. "_You'll always be a part of me. I'm part of you indefinitely. Boy don't you know you can't escape me. Ooh, darlin' you will always be my baby…_" The woman was off-key and pretty much an absolute mess. I cringed. She trailed off and then burst into tears as the judges rejected her. Sam's laughter drowned out the woman's sobs. I poked her on the leg and looked up at her.

"Oh, come on Sam, show a little sympathy for the untalented…"

She snorted. "Are you deaf, Benson? These people suck!" I huh-ed in agreement. These people were pretty bad. Sam continued. "I bet Guppy can sing way better, huh Gup?"she asked, ruffling the kid's hair. He laughed and moved to stand up on the couch. He started dancing around and singing.

"_I love you, baby. And if it's quite alwright, I need you baby, to wawm the lonely night. I love you, baby. Twust in me when I say…_" He ripped off his baby blue T-shirt in a very pre-puberty Gibby-like fashion. "_Oh pwetty baby. Don't let me down, I pway. Oh pwetty baby, now that I found you stay. And let me love you, baby._" The kid took a deep breath. "_Let me love YOUUUU!_" I grimaced as he hit the last note off-key. Sam, on the other hand, clapped enthusiastically.

"Yeah, go Guppy!" She pulled him onto his lap and started playing with his hair.

_Dude! This seven year old is getting more action from my girlfriend than I am! _Sam's laughter rang out in the room. I looked up and saw Guppy tickling Sam in the belly. I bit back a yell.

I leaned my head against the couch and prayed, _hard_ , that this day would just be over.

* * *

><p>"<em>She weaws showt skiwts. I weaw T-shiwts. She's cheew captain and I'm on the bleachews, dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find that what you'we looking fow has been hewe the whole time…"<em>

I slammed my head down on the kitchen counter, trying to drown out Guppy's singing. After _America Sings _ended, Guppy decided to sing Sam every song he ever learned, ranging from 'Twinkle, Twinkle' to 'We R Who We R', by Ke$ha. I felt like slapping myself, this madness had been going on for over two hours. _When are Carly, Spencer, and Gibby coming back? They're supposed to be here already!_

Suddenly, the door swung open and the three people I was painfully waiting for barged into the apartment. Spencer came dancing in first.

"_Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along. Why can't you see-ee-ee? You belong with me-ee-ee! You belong with me!_" He waltzed into the room like a broken ballerina. "Hey there kiddos. Heard your mad singing skills from down the hallway and I thought I'd join you, Gup." He scooped Guppy and flipped him upside down by the ankles, causing the kid to burst out into a fit of giggles.

Carly came into the room next. She gasped when she saw Spencer holding Guppy upside down. "Spencer! Put Guppy down! You could hurt him!" Spencer reluctantly put Guppy back into an upright standing position and ruffled his hair. He slapped him a high five before running off into his room to go start a new sculpture. Carly patted down Guppy, making sure he wasn't hurt. When she was sure her older brother didn't cause any permanent damage, she kissed him on top of the forehead. I rolled my eyes. _What a little ladies man._

Gibby bounded into the room last, carrying two huge paper shopping bags with the words _Liquid Soap Society_ printed on them. He reached into one of the bags and pulling out a bottle of strawberries and cream scented soap. He shot a finger gun in the direction of Spencer's bathroom. "I'm going to test out this soap. C'mon Gupster go with me. Gibbeh out." Carly sent the Gibson siblings a weird look before turning to Sam and me.

"So you guys, how was it here in Seattle while I was in Yuck-ima?"

Sam came over to me and leaned against my chest, wrapping one of my arms around her waist. She shrugged. "Meh, it wasn't all that bad. I would've been way worse if Guppy wasn't around to entertain me. He was pretty dang adorable," she looked up at me, "right, Fredward?"

My jaw clenched at the mention of Guppy's name. I prayed Sam wouldn't notice. "Um" – I struggled to keep my voice from sounding jealous – "Yeah, it was cool to have Guppy around." I must've of failed, 'cause Sam's eyes narrowed suspiciously. She glanced at me for a moment before looking at Carly.

"Carls, me and Frederly are gonna go out for a bit." She looked at me. "Your mom at work?" I nodded. "Good. Mkay, see you later Shay. We'll stop by for some spaghetti tacos a little later."

She grabbed my collar and dragged me out of Carly's apartment, kicking the door open of mine. Before she slammed the door shut, I could've sworn I heard Carly shout, "Are you two gonna get it on? Ew, make sure you guys use protection." I blushed and closed the door, pulling Sam into my room. Before I could say anything, Sam had me pinned up against my bedroom wall. She looked into my eyes.

"You were _jealous_."

I tried to play it dumb. "Jealous? Of what?"

She poked me in the chest with her slim index finger. "You." – Poke – "Were." – poke – "Jealous." – Poke.

I struggled to keep a poker face. "I wasn't jealous of Guppy!"

Sam smirked smugly and took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest and releasing my arms from over my head. "Never said anything 'bout Guppy."

_Damn_. I mentally face-palmed myself. "Well – I – uh…"

Sam threw her head back and laughed. "Holy chiz, Fredlame. You were jealous of a seven year old," she said, emphasizing the last part of that sentence.

I jerked a hand through my hair, angrily. "Well sooorry for getting irked over the fact that Guppy Gibson was getting more action from you than I did today, Puckett!"

Sam stepped close to me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She pinched my cheek. "Aw, is wittle Fweddie Benson sad that he didn't get any sugaw fwom Mama?"

I tried twitching away, but I was trapped in between Sam and the wall. "Dang it Sam, just – just forget about it okay? It was stupid." Sam let go of my cheek and slid her finger tips down the side of my face, sending slight shivers down my spine. Her body came intimately close and my heart rate spiked up like someone had given me an energy shot. She slowly began making a line of soft kisses down my jaw line. My mind pretty much went blank.

"Uh, S-Sam? What are you –"

She silenced me with a searing kiss. She gently bit my bottom lip before pulling away. "You know… You're pretty cute when you're jealous." She smirked.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Cute? You think I was being cute? I'm not _cute_. I'm –"

Sam pressed a finger to my lips. "Benson, just shut up and kiss me already."

I bent down and kissed her right next to her ear, a spot I knew she enjoyed being kissed on.

"Fine. But remember, Puckett, you're _mine_."

* * *

><p><strong>Haha, this was inspired by aN interview they did with Ethan Munk (Guppy) where he said SamJennette McCurdy was his favorite actress/character on the show because he said she was pretty. D'aws, go GUPPY!**

**Can anyone name all the songs in this chapter? (Woah, I sure use a lot of songs in these one-shots. It's 'cause I love music that much.)**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys are the bestest! Love yous!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	10. YOU

**Grab your tissue boxes ladies and gents. This is some pretty angsty chiz. I actually teared up as I wrote it.**

**Disclaimer**: *too busy crying to say that I don't own iCarly or Katy Perry's _Thinking of You_*

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><p><strong>YOU.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which we find a letter that was never sent…_

Freddie,

Everything he does makes me think of **you**.

He took me to that Italian restaurant for dinner and all I could remember was our first date. He pushed me into a photo-booth and I pretended that it was you I was making silly faces into the camera with. He bought me a new PearPod and I thought about the one you gave me for our six month anniversary. He took me to meet his family and they liked me, yet all I could think of was how much your crazy mother hated me.

_Comparisons are easily done once you had a taste of perfection. Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one but still got the seed. You said move on where do I go? I guess second best is all I will know._

He gave me a bouquet of red roses and I had to fight a frown because you always remembered that I like the yellow ones better. He brought me a salad at lunch the other day and I thought about how you would always bring me ham. He downloaded pop songs onto my PearPod for me, forgetting that I liked rock and alternative music better. You never forgot. He took me to the beach and I acted like I had fun, even though you know how much I hate the ocean after watching my dad drown when I was ten.

_You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter. Like a hard candy with a surprise center. How do I get better when I've had the best? You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test._

He never lets me eat whatever I want. He never wakes up at three in the morning to go to Mall-Mart and buy me ham. He never lets me wrestle him; he thinks I'll hurt myself. He never lets me hang out with my own friends, we're always with his. He never lets me go out in just a T-shirt and jeans, only fancy tops and skirts. He never agrees to my crazy plans. You did all those things for me.

_He kissed my lips I taste your mouth. He pulls me in I feel disgusted with myself._

The first time he kissed me there were no sparks, like the ones I felt the first time I kissed you. His kisses are demanding and rough. Your kisses were soft and sweet. His hands are everywhere, groping, and grabby. You always asked for permission before touching me. He likes kissing me in public, like he's marking his territory. You liked kissing me when it was just the two of us; it was more special that way.

_You're the best, and yes, I do regret how I could let myself let you go. Now the lessons learned; I touched, and I was burned. I think you should know._

He forces me to kiss him. He forces me to let him touch me. He forces me to sleep with him. When I don't listen to him, he hits me. He hits me so hard. But I deserve it. I put you through a lot of shit, and this is my punishment.

'_Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you. Thinking of you, what you would do if you were the one who was spending the night. Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes…_

I should've never left you, Freddie. I see that now. I'm sorry. But after what I did, I know you'll never take me back. But remember, I'll _always _love you.

_Won't you walk through and bust in the door and take me away? No more mistakes. 'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay._

Your beautiful chocolate brown eyes; they will be the last thing I remember when I go. I love you, Freddie.

Goodbye.

Love you always and forever,

Sam

* * *

><p>"<em>This just in. Teenage girl found dead underneath a bridge. Cause of death is believed to be suicide. The body was identified as Samantha Puckett, co-host of the popular web-show iCarly. More on that on the eleven 'o clock news...<em>"

Freddie, Carly, and Spencer stared at the television screen. Carly was the first to speak.

"Wha – I can't belie –" she took a shaky breath "- Sam's d-dead?" She whispered the last word in disbelief. She burst into tears. Spencer, with tears streaking his own face, pulled his little sister into his arms, lightly rubbing circles on her back, trying to console her.

"Shh… It's – it's going to be o-okay." It sounded as if the eldest Shay was trying to reassure himself more than his sister.

Freddie gritted his teeth and felt the hot sting of tears in his eyes. "No." He clenched his fists. "It's not going to be okay. Sam's dead. It will never be okay." He rose and swung his arm out wildly. His swing knocked over a glass that was sitting on the coffee table. Its shatter sent Carly into further hysterics.

Freddie sank to his knees and felt the two Shay siblings wrap their arms around him. He sobbed onto Carly's shoulder. "She's gone. And it's all my fault. I should've never let her go with that douche bag. I should've never given up… It's all my fault…"

The three people in that living room have never felt a pain worse than the one they were feeling now.

* * *

><p>It rained on the day of Sam Puckett's funeral. But that was okay, because Sam always said she loved the rain. A lot of people were at the funeral; Freddie and his mom, Carly and Spencer, Pam Puckett, students from Ridgeway… everyone. Sam's Uncle Carmine and Cousin Jaz were even granted a break from prison in order to grieve over their favorite family member. There were a lot of strangers attending the funeral as well; most of them were iCarly fans that were all heartbroken over the loss of the high-spirited blonde.<p>

Only one person seemed to be missing from that congregation, the loser who had driven Sam to her death. Sam's family and friends didn't even have to bother banning him from the funeral; after Sam's death, he had disappeared, made a run for it, afraid he would be charged for all the things he did to her.

After the casket had been lowered into the ground (accompanied by fresh tears and pain) people slowly started parting, soon leaving only Sam's closest friends and family at her grave. Freddie sat at the foot of the simple white marble headstone and the rest of the company floated away from him, giving him time to say goodbye.

He placed a yellow rose atop the white marble and ran his fingers along it, tracing out the letters engraved on there.

_In Memory of Sam Puckett_

_April 17, 1993 to October 17, 2011_

_Daughter, Best Friend, Sister_

_~ We Love You, Sam ~_

He let the tears stream unashamedly down his cheeks. He leaned his forehead on the cool marble. He let out a weary breath. "I'm sorry for allowing you to leave me, Sam. I should've never let you go." He laid his palms flat into the freshly laid grass and then dug his fingers into it, as if trying to connect with the girl he loved that was buried below it. Tears clouded up his vision.

"Remember Sammy, I'll always be thinking of **you**."

* * *

><p><strong>Mk, so basically, Sam and Freddie were dating. Sam cheated on Freddie and then left him for that other guy. The guy turned out to be super controlling and he started abusing Sam, causing her to go into a state of mind where she thought she wasn't good enough to live. Before she killed herself, she wrote that letter to Freddie, which she never sent him, fearing that he didn't feel the same about her anymore. Then she jumped off a bridge and died. Damn.<strong>

**My best friend, Allan, walked into my room while I was writing this and he saw that I was sort of tearing up.**

**Allan: Dude, are you crying?**

**Me: *attempting to hide the screen* (nobody knows I write fanfiction) No, you asshat, I'm just... a little teary.**

**Allan: Uh, okay... I'm just gonna... *slowly backs out of the room***

**Yep, true story.**

**Anyways, hope this story got you all teary eyed...**

**Leave a review please!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	11. INSANE

**Okay, after the depressing crap in the last chapter, I decided to post a one-shot with a MUCH happier ending. It gets a little naughty, but not so much... :0 Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer**: _If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of _iCarly! Haha, thumbs up for a weird disclaimer! ^-^

* * *

><p><strong>INSANE.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which crazy things happen at Carly's Halloween party..._

Sam Puckett groaned as she shifted in the stupid, skimpy costume Carly had forced her to wear that night.

"_Saaam! I'm hosting the Halloween bash this year, so, as my best friend, you _have_ to dress up in costume with me!" _

And so here she was at Carly's party dressed in something that was way-too-revealing and way-too-short. With the intent of humoring Carly and those around her, Sam had dressed up as an angel. She was clad in a tiny white dress with little feathery wings attached to the back. A golden halo rested on top of her head at a jaunty angle, almost blending with the color of her curls. Carly had strapped her into a pair of ridiculously spindly silver stilettoes, but once the party was in full swing, Sam had gone up to the iCarly studio and chucked them out the window.

Of course, she had added her own Puckett-swag to her costume. She had "borrowed" a bucket of red paint from the hardware store and splattered the paint all over the pristine white fabric of the dress, making it look like she was splattered with blood. She also hacked wildly at the hem of the dress in order to give it a more dangerous-looking flare. And to finish up her look, she found a silky white garter in her mother's drawer (don't ask how it got there) and used it to strap a pocketknife to her upper thigh.

She pretty much looked like a bloody angel from hell. There's a good kick of irony.

Sam didn't only look the part; she most certainly acted it as well. Take her encounter with Carter Ford, for example. He had walked up to her, all charm and smiles in his ever-so-original vampire costume, and asked her to dance. She smiled sweetly up at him. "You want to dance with _me_?"

The boy nodded, unaware of her hand creeping slowly to the pocketknife strapped to her thigh. Suddenly, he had his back pressed up against the wall and the pocketknife dangerously close to his face.

"Fuck off, loser." She used the same innocent, angelic tone, but her eyes had a maniac gleam in them. He scurried away with a girlish shriek.

Many guys fell victim to the terror that was Sam Puckett that night. They soon learned to leave the crazy blonde to her own craziness, but that didn't stop every single guy at the party from leering at her ass or her boobs at least once. Well, almost every guy.

She peered over the rim of her red cup and scowled at the root of her troubles. _Stupid Freddie Benson._ But, he wasn't the only reason for her sour attitude; no the bottle blonde bimbo hanging onto his arm contributed to it as well. She crushed the empty red cup in her hands when she saw the girl place a light kiss onto _her _man's cheek.

_Woah, back it up and rewind, Puckett. He doesn't belong to you._ The words echoed in her head, forcing her to bite back a frustrated scream. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, she couldn't hide from the truth. She angrily tossed the crushed cup over her shoulder, breaking out in a satisfied _humph_ when she heard someone cry out in annoyance.

Sam searched the crowded apartment for her best friend and spotted her in the middle of a crowd of guys, swaying slightly with a red cup in her hands. She approached Carly, who was dressed up in a skimpy nurse's uniform, and smirked when all of the boys hastily removed themselves from her presence. She plucked the cup out of Carly's hands and downed the rest of the drink in one gulp. After swiping a hand across her mouth, she leaned forward to talk into her best friend's ear, straining to be heard over the loud music.

"Yo, Shay. I'm getting bored. Let's do something."

Carly's face lit up into a wide smile and she stood up onto the coffee table, clutching Sam's shoulders to keep from teetering off balance. She raised a fist in the air drunkenly. "ULTIMATE SPIN THE BOTTLE!" The crowd responded with an enthusiastic roar. Sam frowned.

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of ditching the party and going off to vandalize something but whatever…"

Soon, a good amount of people were gathered around the coffee table. You see, ultimate spin the bottle was a tradition at every party hosted by a Ridgeway upper-classmen. Somebody spins the bottle. When someone else is chosen, the couple is thrown into a closet and is given eight minutes to whatever they want in that closet. The events in the closet usually included an extremely heated make-out session, but some people even went as far as having an eight minute quickie.

Carly spun the bottle first and squealed happily when it landed on Ryan Adams, the point guard on Ridgeway's basketball team. She pulled him into the closet like an eager puppy. The couple emerged eight minutes later, accompanied by ruffled T-shirts and extreme sex hair. Carly giggled as Ryan placed a kiss on her cheek before going back to his place in the crowded circle. Carly plopped back down into her spot next to Sam and spun the bottle to choose the next person to spin.

Through the course of an hour and a half, all sorts of couples were thrown into the closet. Rip-Off Rodney and Valerie came out of the closet exchanging flirty, secretive grins. Shane and Shannon emerged from the room holding hands. A very red-faced Wendy and Carly came running out of the closet, leaving everyone to wonder what had happened in there. The entire party gagged in unison as Gibby and Tasha marched out of the closet, Gibby waving a hot pink thong in the air.

Finally, it was Sam's turn to spin the bottle. She flicked the bottle and started silently chanting in her head. _Freddie. Freddie. Freddie. Freddie. Fre–_

Jonah.

The two-timing bastard whooped excitedly and tugged Sam into the dim closet. He shut the door and rubbed his hands together excitedly, eyes roaming Sam's semi-exposed figure. She scowled and flipped the switch so that the lights were all the way up. She held up her index finger.

"One kiss, and that's it."

Jonah's face lit up. "Do I get to use tongue?"

Sam made a face and shook her head furiously. "Absolutely not. However, I will allow you to stare at my butt as we walk out of this closet." The guy pouted, but then shrugged his shoulders dejectedly. He puckered up and started leaning towards her. Before their lips could meet, Sam poked him on the forehead. He opened his eyes and stared at her impatiently. She tapped on the pocketknife still strapped to her thigh. "You try using tongue or groping my boobs and I'll use this to hack your balls off, got it?"

He gulped and nodded silently. He leaned in again and Sam sighed before pressing her lips to his. Her first thought? _Somebody get this boy some Carmex or something, 'cause his lips are cha-a-apped! _After ten seconds, she pulled away, unable to take the experience of kissing Jonah any longer. He frowned.

"That's all I get?"

Sam scoffed. "You're lucky you got that much, you asshat. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ditch this hell-hole. Later."

Jonah started whining. "But wait! It's barely been three minutes!"

Sam rolled her eyes and put a hand on the doorknob. Before exiting the closet, she looked back at him. "Three minutes too long, darling." She kicked open the door and strutted back to her place in the circle. She watched Jonah stomp out of the closet and then out the apartment door, slamming the door in his wake.

Sam rolled her eyes and then spun the bottle to pick the next spinner. It landed on Freddie's fake blonde lady friend. The ho spun and giggled when it stopped at Freddie. She batted her eyelashes and took Freddie by the hand, pulling him into the closet. Eight very long minutes later, both Freddie and his date came out sporting some serious sex hair. The girl's giggles seemed more forced now, and Sam duly noted the subtle flicker of annoyance in Freddie's eyes. The couple sat, albeit not as snugly as they had been sitting earlier.

A couple of turns later, Freddie was next to spin. The noisy room fell into a sudden hush when the bottle stopped, pointing towards Sam. Sam did her best to keep a nonchalant expression on her face. She propped the door open with her hip and swept her arm towards the opening. "You coming, Benson?" Freddie got up with a slightly amused expression on his face, leaving his date looking angry. Sam smirked and then pulled Freddie into the closet by his collar, waggling her eyebrows suggestively at the still silent party before slamming the door in their curious faces. She quickly reached under the hem of her dress to pull off her underwear. Freddie clamped onto her wrists frantically.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you serious? I'm here with a _date _, you know…"

Sam rolled her eyes and tugged free from his grip. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Chill, man. I'm not going to ravish you here in the Shays' closet. It was a joke."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Freddie sighed. "Oh."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You know, Freddison, it almost seems like you're disappointed that I'm not going to do you in this closet." Her heart rate picked up a bit.

Freddie felt his face flush. He started stammering. "Uh – I didn't – I'm not –"

Sam smiled slyly and took a step closer to him, pressing him against the wall. She cocked her head to the side. "Do you _want _me, Freddie Benson?" Freddie shook his head hastily. Sam leaned into his chest and pulled off the top hat he had on as part of his Mad Hatter costume. "You sure about that?" she whispered.

Freddie shivered as her warm breath caressed his face. "Uh…" He couldn't think of what to say. So he kissed her.

At first, Sam stood there motionless. But then it clicked. _Holy crap. Freddie is kissing me._ She melted into his kiss and tangled her fingers into his brown hair. Freddie bit back a moan as she toyed with his hair and slid his hands down to her waist. Feeling unusually brave, he ran his tongue over her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She smirked into the kiss before opening her mouth, allowing him access to the cave of her mouth. They explored each other's mouths with their tongues and soon, their hands began exploring each other's bodies. Sam moaned slightly when Freddie fumbled with the hem of her dress. Just as he made contact with her bare skin, there was a loud knock on the closet door.

"Hey, time's up you two! Oh chiz, you better have not murdered Freddie in there, Sam!"

The two of them jumped apart and groaned disappointedly.

"Damn," they muttered at the same time. Sam suddenly looked at Freddie with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She nudged him with her shoulder.

"Hey Freddie, wanna raise some hell?"

Freddie raised an eyebrow. "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Puckett?"

She smirked and tugged off his fancy jacket. "Follow my lead, Fredwad." She reached around his head to start hitting the wall behind him. She made loud moaning noises. "Oh, Freddie! That feels so good!"

Freddie spent a minute momentarily shocked before he added his own grunts and moans. "Holy crap, Sam, don't stop!"

They continued their chorus of moans and groans. Sam motioned for Freddie to take her place in hitting the wall. She pulled her halo off and began shaking out her hair, making it look as crazy as possible. She rumpled her dress and made a tear along the bottom. Then she turned to work on Freddie.

"It's your turn, Freddie…"

Sam ruffled up his hair furiously and set her halo on top of his head. He struggled to keep from laughing. She undid his bowtie and then hung it around her own neck. Then, she unbuttoned his top three buttons, trying her best not to gawk over his finely-toned chest. Freddie caught her staring and smirked down at her. She pulled him down by the collar and bite him on the nose.

"Oh Jesus, Sam!"

She smiled up angelically. "Woopsies…" As a finishing touch, she pressed her lips to the white collar of his button-up, leaving a dark red lipstick stain. Satisfied with her work, she leaned into Freddie once again and made one last loud thump onto the wall with her fists on either side of his head. She made her voice breathy.

"Oh god, Freddie, you were _amazing_." Freddie looked at her. There was silence. Sam held a finger up to her lips and started counting down on her fingers.

"Five," she mouthed, "four, three, two –"

"OH MY GOD! MY TWO BEST FRIENDS JUST SCREWED THE BRAINS OUT OF EACH OTHER!"

Freddie and Sam doubled over in silent laughter. They took a deep breath and straightened themselves up. Freddie moved to open the door, but Sam caught his arm. He looked at her questioningly. Slowly, she pulled off her lacy red underwear (the only pair of girly underwear she owned) and tucked it into the back pocket of Freddie's jeans. She tied his jacket around her waist, making sure that it helped in keeping her lady parts covered. She picked up his top hat and gave him the okay to open the door.

They were greeted by an ocean of shocked faces. Sam locked eyes with, what used to be, Freddie's date and raised her eyebrows smugly. She intertwined her free hand with his and addressed the crowd.

"Why is everyone staring at us like we're **insane**?"

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><p><strong>And <em>viola<em>! That oughta shake the depression form the last chapter! Happy Halloween everyone! (Well, in like 2 weeks...)**

**Hope it was a fun read!**

**Please leave a review! I only got two reviews for the last chapter, so yeah... ._.**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**

**PS- This right here is the longest one-shot I've ever written. Aw, hell yeah!**


	12. HORSES

**Hello, loves! I'm back once again! ^-^ Hope you're not getting bored by these one-shots, I'm only on number eleven! Haha :D**

**Disclaimer: **iCarly, unfortunately, does not belong to me. Boo-hoo ;_;

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><p><strong>HORSES.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which we discover what happened in the barn…_

| BRAD'S P.O.V. |

"Just a one-headed frog…"

"Less impressive."

I rocked back and forth on my feet awkwardly and glanced over at Sam. She was chewing on her bottom lip nervously and her eyes were looking at anywhere but me with a guarded expression in them. I opened my mouth to ask her what the heck Carly and Freddie were up to, but she interrupted me before I got the chance to talk.

"Brad?" I stuck my hands into the front pocket of my jeans and bobbed my head towards her. "This might sound weird but…" She looked up at me and met my eyes for a fraction of a second before looking back down at her shoes.

I nudged her on the arm playfully. "Hey, I'm a guy obsessed with fudge; nothing's too weird for me." Sam let out a deep breath and then sat down cross-legged on one of the desks, gesturing over to one of the chairs near her. I sent her a questioning look before pulling up a chair and whirling it around so I was sitting down backwards on it. "So, what's up?"

She rested her forearms on her thighs and intertwined her fingers, tapping her index fingers together. She leaned in towards me with a serious expression on her face. "Brad, do you like me?"

I gave her a confused look. "Well, yeah, you're pretty cool." I didn't really know what to say, because judging by the things Freddie's told me, Sam could totally rip my head off if I said the wrong thing.

She shook her head and pushed her bangs back with her hand. "No, I mean, do you like me in _that _way?"

I was stunned. I opened my mouth stupidly a couple times before coming up with something to say. "Uh… I – don't take this the wrong way, you're an awesome girl, Sam, but I'm into you like _that_…" I closed my eyes and braced myself for some serious butt-whooping for turning _the _Sam Puckett down.

"Good."

I opened my eyes slowly. "Wait, good?" Sam let out a breath and broke out into a relieved smile. She nodded.

"Yeah, thank God. Whew, it would've been super weird if you did like me!" She started laughing and I felt seriously offended.

"Hey," I protested, "I may be kinda nerdy, but I'm not all that bad! I actually think I'm pretty good-looking!"

Sam stopped laughing and punched me in the arm good-naturedly. "Dude, I didn't mean it like that. Yeah, you're pretty cute, but it's just…" She sighed and that guarded look came back into her eyes. I poked her in the arm.

"Hey, what's wrong? C'mon, you can tell me anything. I won't tell anyone. Cross my heart!" She gave me a little half-smile.

"Well, Carly" – she exhaled, puffing her cheeks out – "Carly has got it in her head that I'm..." –she grinned sheepishly – "totally in love. With you." I raised my eyebrows.

"Totally in love? With me? Uh, I've only been at Ridgeway for, like, three weeks. How can anyone fall in love in three weeks?" She nodded and pointed at me with her index finger.

"My thoughts, exactly, man. But it was kind of yours and Freddie's stupid app's fault, really. It apparently said that I was 'in love'. Must be all janked up or something."

I knew that our programming for MoodFace was absolutely flawless, so her reading must've been right. But she sounded doubtful of her own words, so I just hummed in agreement.

"Hmm, maybe. So, is that why Carly's got us locked up in a romantically darkened classroom?" Sam snorted and swung her legs out, dangling them off the desk. She was pretty short, so her feet barely brushed the ground.

"Romantically darkened, really? Geez, you sound like a total girl."

"Yeah, well whatever…" I held out my palms and shrugged. "I wonder where she got this idea from though," I wondered. Sam's smile suddenly changed into a smirk.

"You watch the Animal Channel, Brad?" I jerked my head to the left.

"Eh, on occasions."

"So you've seen the **horses**?"

I furrowed my eyebrows together. "What about the horses?"

Sam's legs stopped swinging and her eyes widened. "You've never seen the horses before?"

I shook my head warily. "Uh, no?"

Her smirk widened and I was suddenly uneasy about what she was going to say. "Okay so, this farmer dude had a boy horse and a girl horse." I nodded. "And he put the two horses in the barn so they could…" She rubbed her chin, like she was searching for the best word to use. A mischievous glint sparkled in her eyes. "… _play_."

"Play? What do you…?" I trailed off, realizing what she was implying. "Oh."

Sam scratched the back of her head all embarrassed-like. "Yep. Hence why Carly has locked us up here –"

"– In the barn," I finished. She nodded and chuckled.

"Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Well, if you ask me, she's got you in the barn with the wrong person." _Oops. _The words just slipped out of my mouth. Sam froze, the smile sliding off her face. Her gaze went back to the floor.

"Whatchu talking 'bout, kid?"

_Well, there's no stopping now_. "Well, if Carly was more observant of her best friend, she would've seen that I'm not who you're supposed to be 'in the barn' with." Her eyes flashed dangerously and I noticed her fists slowly starting to clench.

"Who, exactly, do you think I should be 'in the barn' with, _Brad_?" She spat out my name venomously. My mind was sending me the 'stop talking now' alert, but my mouth just wasn't listening.

"Freddie." Her eyes widened in shock.

"F-Freddie, as in Fredward Dorkwad Benson? Yeah right. That's freakin' impossible."

I didn't miss that little stutter in the beginning of her protesting. I smiled slyly. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

"You thinks what? God, that sounded dorky."

I nudged her on the knee. "Stop trying to change the subject, Sam."

Her smile turned into a frown. "Brad, whatever diseased thought you have in your head, just drop it."

"Maybe if I told you about how Freddie wants to be 'in the barn' with you, you'd be more willing to talk about it," I suggested, waggling my eyebrows cheekily.

Sam shot me an angry look. "You don't know that." She hopped off the desk and made her way towards the door. "I'm out of here."

I tugged on her wrist before she could walk away. She turned back to me with an annoyed expression on her face. "Wait, before you punch me, just let me say something." She raised an eyebrow and I took that as the okay to keep talking. "I've seen the way he looks at you. And by the looks of it, he really does want to be 'in the barn' with you, Sam."

She jerked out of my grip and turned away from me, but not before I caught a glimpse of her holding back a smile. She stomped towards the door. Right before she reached the doorway, she turned back to me with a small smile on her face.

"Thanks Brad. You're pretty cool, you know?"

I laughed and shrugged my right shoulder. "I try."

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, dude. Now, I gotta yell at Carly for locking me 'in the barn' with you." She strutted out of the room, her long blonde curls flying out behind her. I caught myself smiling.

_Chiz, that's one heck of a girl. _

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><p><strong>Tee-hee! I just had to do one of them 'in the barn' fics! It was necessary! LOL. I hope it made y'all laugh. Or at least crack a smile. [:<strong>

**Funny story: My best friend Allan came over to my house yesterday after school to hang out. I forced him to watch iCarly with me. Lady Luck shined down upon me 'cause it was iKiss! I was all freaking out over the kissing scene. Like seriously, I was gripping on Allan's arm so hard, I left imprints from my fingernails (x He was all O.o LOL.**

**Reviews are appreciated! **

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	13. MOMS

**'Suuup! Here's another one-shot for you people of FANFICTION! _Dot net. _The dot net was implied. LOL, Victorious.**

**Thanks to everyone who left reviews! They make me feel all happy and chiz [:**

**Disclaimer: **NO :|

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><p><strong>MOMS.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which Sam and Freddie have some news for their __**moms**__…_

| SAM'S P.O.V. |

I twiddled with the hem of my sheer purple button-down blouse. Freddie had told me to dress nice. "Baby, I really don't want to do this."

Freddie squeezed my knee comfortingly. "Relax Sam; it's not going to be that bad."

I swatted away his hand. "Not that bad? Remember what happened when we told them we were getting married? Your mom nearly had a heart attack!"

He laughed. "Yeah and your mom pulled a beer bottle out of her purse and started celebrating drunkenly, further freaking my mom out. And then they started arguing over the wedding details."

I buried my face in my hands. "This is going to be a hundred times worse." The dreaded chime of the doorbell rang out through our house. "Chiz. Chiz. Chiz. Chiz," I started chanting.

Freddie got off the couch. "Calm down, Princess," he kissed me on the cheek, "It'll be fine." I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. He chuckled before heading towards the door. I covered my face with a pillow. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for World War III. It was no secret that my mom and Freddie's mom hated each other. Planning our wedding was complete hell. Anytime one of them would offer an opinion, the other fiercely shot it down. My mom had wanted a big ceremony and Freddie's mom wanted a small, private one. My mom wanted to invite _everyone _and Freddie's mom just wanted to invite close family and friends. They argued every time we met up to do wedding planning. Hell, they even argued on the day of the actual wedding. I couldn't imagine how they were going to take me and Freddie's latest news.

Two angry voices floated to the living room.

"Stop dressing like an old geezer!"

"Stop dressing like a teenager!"

"I don't get why my kid would marry your nerdy son!"

"I can't comprehend why my baby would marry your delinquent daughter!"

Freddie walked into the living room with his hands over his ears and an annoyed expression on his face. He sat down next to me and I gave him a 'this-is-all-your-fault' look. We watched as our moms walked into the room, bickering loudly.

"I initially pictured my son-in-law as the tall, dark, and handsome type. Not a geeky squirt."

"My Freddie is quite the handsome, respectable young man! And my ideal daughter-in-law would be polite, sweet, and vegetarian. Not rude, bossy, and obsessively gluttonous of meat products!"

"Hi-ya mom, Marissa," I said over their shouting. My mom shot Marissa a sneer before turning to pull me into a noogie.

"Hey Sammaaay! How ya doin' chicka?" she asked, ruffling my hair up. I twisted out my mom's grip and smoothed out my hair.

"Pretty good, Mom, pretty good. You?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Freddie and his mom saying hello with a calm exchange of hugs. I rolled my eyes when I heard Mrs. B fussing over Freddie. I felt my mom poke my arm.

"That Marissa Benson sure is a fusser, huh, Sam-o?" she said in a dramatic stage-whisper. Marissa stopped in the middle of reaching out to pinch Freddie's cheeks to glare at my mom. She leaned in closer to Freddie.

"My, oh my, that Pam Puckett is an absolute mess, isn't she Fredward?" she asked in the same way as my mom did. Freddie and I exchanged looks and then both stepped away from our mothers to stand side-by-side.

"Mom –" I was interrupted by a snort from my mom.

"I'm a mess? At least I don't get frazzled whenever my kid doesn't send in his daily phone call!"

"At least I care about my child!"

"Hey! You know as well as I do that I love Sam very much!"

"As I love Freddie, which is why I find the need to have daily updates from his life!"

"Control Freak!"

"Lazy Bum!"

"Lazy bum? Is that the best you got, old lady?"

"Old lady? Why you little bi –"

I couldn't stand their arguing anymore. I stood up on the coffee table.

"I'M PREGNANT."

The shouting suddenly stopped and the house was engulfed in an eerie silence. The two women looked up at me with wide eyes. Freddie took my hand and helped me off the coffee table and I stomped into the kitchen to stuff my face with ham, dragging Freddie behind me.

* * *

><p>"They've been like that for over half an hour now, Sam. Should we be worried?"<p>

I shrugged. "They just better get out of their funk soon because Girly Cow II is showing on channel five in ten minutes and they're blocking the TV." I snuggled closer into Freddie's chest and he ran his fingers along my tummy, kissing my forehead as he did so.

Suddenly, a choking sound came out of both women.

"You're pregnant?" "You two are having a baby?" They shouted at the same time. The two women glanced at each other warily. After a few seconds, they were bawling in each other's arms.

"Oh Pam, I hope you'll forgive me for all the nasty things I've said about you."

"Same goes with me, Marissa. I'm so sorry…"

They stepped out of their hug and smiled at Freddie and me as we stood up from the couch, dabbing at their teary eyes. Freddie and I exchanged confused looks before turning to our moms.

"Uh, is everything alright, now? Are you guys done fighting or whatever?" I asked, frowning at the two women's bizarre behavior. My mom gave Mrs. B a friendly nudge on the shoulder, which she, surprisingly returned.

"Well, yeah. Me and Marissa are going to be grandmas together. It's time we buried the battle axe."

"It's a hatchet, mom. Not a battle axe."

My mom rolled her eyes and waved me off. "Whatever, kid. Point is we're willing to set aside our differences for our upcoming grandbaby."

Marissa smiled and then pulled Freddie and me into a bear hug. "I'm so happy for you two!" She pulled back and then wiped another tear from the corner of her eye. She held a hand to her heart. "Oh, I do hope my little grandson grows up to be the same respectable gentleman that you are, Freddie-bear."

My mom tapped Marissa on the shoulder. She cleared her throat. "Don't you mean, 'I hope my _granddaughter_ grows up to have the same crazy spark as you do, _Sammy'_?"

I rolled my eyes at Freddie. He wrapped his arms around my middle and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Here we go again."

"My grand_son_ will grow up to be just like my Freddikins!"

"My grand_daughter_ will grow up to be just like my Sammy-o!"

"It's bad enough that I have a delinquent daughter-in-law; do I really have to have a delinquent grandchild as well?"

"I already have a dorky son-in-law; I definitely don't want a dorky grandkid!"

"I'd rather have a respectful grandson than a rowdy granddaughter!"

"Well, I want a rowdy granddaughter more than I want a boring square of a grandson!"

I tugged on Freddie's hand. "Wanna make me an extra-ham sandwich?"

Freddie nodded gratefully. "Anything to escape this mess." We ran into the kitchen, leaving our crazy mothers to their endless arguing.

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><p><strong>Ta-da! Yep, Marissa Benson and Pam Puckett + Preggers Seddie. Didja like it?<strong>

**Reviews, please!**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	14. FIFTEEN

**Holy crap! I haven't updated this story in forever. I'm SO sorry, you guys! But here's another chapter for y'all! (:**

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><p><strong>FIFTEEN.<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which Sam contemplates over her first kiss…_

| SAM'S P.O.V. |

"_I was just thinking that maybe –"_

"_We should kiss?"_

"_You're going to break my arm now, aren't you?"_

"_No."_

"_Well, should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?"  
><em>

"_Hm... Just to get it over with."  
><em>

"_Just to get it over with."  
><em>

"_And you swear we go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over?"  
><em>

"_Oh, totally. And we'll never tell anyone.  
><em>

"_Never. Well, lean."_

My eyes snapped open and I woke up with a jolt. My sheets were tangled up in my legs and one of my pillows was resting on the ground next to Frothy. I glanced at the clock and groaned. 2:39 AM. Of course. I grabbed my pillow off the floor and rested it against my stomach. I sighed.

It's been two weeks ever since the-thing-that-shall-never-be-spoken-of happened. And every night this past two weeks, I woke up at 2:39 AM because of that _stupid_ dream. I smothered my face with a pillow and let out a muffled scream. This was not supposed to be happening. The you-know-what happened just so we could get it over with. I wasn't supposed to be having dreams about it, wasting my sleeping time to think about. It was one _stupid _kiss.

Okay, so maybe it was _that _stupid. His lips were soft and - _Oh, shut up, Sam! This is Freddork Benson we're talking about here!_ I smacked myself in the face with a pillow and grabbed my PearPod off my bedside table so I could distract my thoughts from thinking about _it_. I stuck an earbud in and set it to shuffle, letting the music fill my mind.

_My first kiss went a little like _–

Okay, changing the song. An old Cuttlefish song came on and I leaned my head back onto the pillows. As far as kisses go, I didn't think it was all that bad. I mean, I had nothing to compare it to, but it was _nice_. I crinkled my nose and skipped to a different song; the Cuttlefish oldie was starting to bore me.

_When I'm kissin' you it all starts making sense _–

Skip. A Rocket to the Moon's _Annabelle_ started to play. His lips weren't all chapped and gross, like a majority of the guys at school. His breath didn't smell bad. It actually smelled super minty fresh. I almost smacked myself.

_I don't need a girl like Annabelle…_

The PearPod skipped to the next song.

_Kiss me. K-k-kiss me. Infect me with your love_ –

Skip.

_Go on and kiss the girl…_

THWACK! I threw my PearPod across the room and it hit the opposite wall. I heaved myself out of bed. Wrapping my purple comforter around me, I padded over to my living room, grabbing a package of Fatcakes on my way there. I sank onto the couch cushions and tucked my feet under me, ripping the Fatcake's plastic wrapper off with my teeth. I got the remote and turned on the TV. That show 'Victorious' popped up on the screen. It was the scene where the Hollywood kids were doing the alphabet improv-y chiz.

"_I knowI know how to make you feel better."_

"_Jumping jacks? "_

"_Kiss me. "_

"_Little weird. Let's do it."_

I crinkled my nose and quickly changed the channel before the Tori chick and the guy with the awesome hair kissed. An old time-y movie came up. At least I think it was old time-y; the girl on screen was talking into a phone that was attached to a springy cord, which she was twirling around her finger.

"_Oh Becky, my first kiss was wonderful! Jeremiah was such a gentleman!"_

I jabbed my thumb onto the channel button. That Dingo movie with the red-head fairytale chick falls down a hole and ends up in New York was playing.

"_I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss. And a prince that surely comes with it!"_ I groaned and flipped a couple channels. Something caught my eye and I flickered back a couple channels. I sighed with relief. Finally, something that _didn't _have anything to do with kisses or love or anything like that. It was a good 'ole guts-and-blood zombie movie. I broke out into laughter as the bottle blonde cheerleader character got her head ripped off by one of the zombies. The movie was awesome. I watched it for about fifteen minutes, and already, like, ten people were devoured by the zombies. A nerdy little Asian kid was just about to his brains eaten out, when someone wrenched the monster off of him. The camera backed out, revealing a super fit, super tall, super badass looking guy wearing ripped jeans and a black aviator jacket with rifles strapped to his back. He had a belt of hand grenades around his waist. An equally badass-looking lady stepped up behind. She helped the Asian kid up and he ran out of view. The lady faced the guy, pulling her black and red Ray-Bans off her face.

"This zombie crap is a real pain in the ass, eh, Freddie?"

Of course, the main character's name just _had _to be _Freddie_.

My belly knotted up and I let out a frustrated yell. That Fatcake was going to make a second appearance real fast, real soon. I clicked the TV off and chucked the remote control at the screen. It clattered to the ground loudly.

"Do you hate me?" I shouted up towards the heavens, not caring if I woke my mom up. I stormed back into my room, picking my PearPod up before jumping onto my bed and burying myself into my blankets. I rammed the earbuds into my ear and clicked on my heavy metal playlist that I put together for times I needed to do some serious brain draining.

Oddly enough, the violent drum smashing and cuss-laden lyrics started easing me into a nearly-asleep state. My eyes fluttered slightly. The song I was listening to trailed off after an intense guitar solo and I sleepily waited for the next song. A gentle guitar strumming caught me off guard. I woke up a little bit and I lifted my PearPod to check what song was playing.

_**Fifteen**__ by Taylor Swift_

I lowered the device and realized that the heavy metal had finished and it automatically went on to the next playlist, which was labeled: _Songs That Carly Forced Me To Put On Here_. Taylor Swift broke into the first verse and I just snuggled deeper into my pillow. _I'm already falling asleep; might as well fall asleep to something that won't cause permanent hearing problems… _

"_It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here_

_For the next four years in this town._

_Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say_

_"You know I haven't seen you around, before"._

My mind flashed to the cute senior guys at Ridgeway. I silently cursed Carly for corrupting my mind.

_'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you_

_You're gonna believe them._

My thoughts were whisked back to the fire escape.

"_Hey. I hate you."_

"_Hate you, too."_

I sighed and rolled onto my side, curling up into the fetal position. He said 'I hate you'.

_What happens when someone tells you they hate you, huh Taylor Swift? What have you got to say about that?_

I closed my eyes, praying that I would have no more dreams starring Mr. Fredward, the dork, my-first-kiss, Benson.

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><p><strong>And there it is. I promise to do better in updating this. Man, I'm a sucky person ._. Sorry.<strong>

**Shout out in the next chapter to anyone who can tell me what that "Dingo" movie! Oh and who can name all the songs I used in this chapter?**

**Check out the word list in chapter one and tell me which word I should do next. Your reviews inspire me! :D**

**Love,**

**DEETRIXJAAY :3**


	15. JACK IN THE BOX

**Happy Thanksgiving [YESTERDAY] ! Got caught up in all the Thanksgiving chiz, so I wasn't able to post this yesterday. But better late than never, right?**

* * *

><p><strong>JACK-IN-THE-BOX<strong>

**.**

**.**

**.**

_In which there is trouble on Thanksgiving…_

| FREDDIE'S P.O.V. |

She shifted in her seat and moaned.

"Oh my _god_…"

She moaned again.

"Oh, I can't wait…"

She moaned even louder I struggled to keep my eyes on the road.

"Sam! Stop, I can't concentrate."

"But Freddie!" she groaned.

"SAM!" My fingers gripped the steering wheel so hard, that my knuckles were slowly losing color. Sam looked over at me and smiled innocently.

"But, baby, I just can't wait for Thanksgiving dinner at Carly's." She ran her tongue over her lips slowly. "Mmm… turkey…" she unbuckled her seatbelt and inched closer to me "… mashed potatoes…" and closer "… stuffing… and" I could feel her warm breath against my neck now "… _ham_!" She nipped my earlobe, causing me to swerve into the other lane a little bit.

"Shit!"

The driver next to me responded with a loud honk and he gave me the finger as he zoomed by. I glared at Sam, who smiled up at me with that ridiculously innocent smile.

"Really Sam? We're running late as it is. I don't need you distracting me! And put your seatbelt back on!" This morning, Sam and I went to my Aunt Rebecca's for the Benson Thanksgiving Lunch Bunch (my mom thought of the name). Sam hadn't behaved too badly through it, considering that the only food available was either low-fat or organic, but now, she was being an absolute ravenous nightmare. She dug through her bag and pulled out – yet another – Fatcake.

"But baby," she whined with her mouth full of the sugary snack, "I'm so hungry!"

"Well then you should've eaten at my Aunt Rebecca's," I said, eyeing the gas meter. The pointer was dangerously close to E. _Damn, I knew I should've gotten gas last night._

"Ugh, I refused to eat that organic crap that your family made." Sam took a bite of her Fatcake and leaned in close to me. "Hey Fredwad, you're running out of gas." I clenched my fists on the steering wheel.

"Thank you for the enlightening news, Captain Obvious." She slumped back onto her seat and propped her Converse-clad feet up onto the dashboard.

"You should've listened to me when I told you to get gas yesterday," she chastised in a sing-song voice.

"Yes, I know! Geez, just leave me alone, Puckett!" I shouted. Sam raised an eyebrow. "Wait, Princess I'm –" She held a hand up and I shut up.

"Whatever. Sorry for pissing you off." She reclined her seat back and curled up on her side, facing the window. I could see her reflection in the mirror. Her blue eyes were smoldering and her mouth was twisted up to the side like she had just eaten one of my mom's cucumber cups. I immediately started feeling guilty. I reached out and tugged on one of her curls.

"Sammy? Babe? Princess?" She ignored me. I sighed and turned my eyes back onto the road. Whenever she got pissed off like this, it was best to just give her time to cool down. After about fifteen minutes of driving, Sam's soft snores stared chorusing through the car. I smiled. Despite her deep hatred for them, her snores were actually really cute. We were passing by a dingy, off the road shopping center with a grand total of five little shops when the little E on the gas meter started blinking. I pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store just as the car engine spluttered to a stop.

"Damn it." I tried revving up the engine, but to no avail. I craned my neck to see if there was a gas station nearby. None. "What the f- What kind of shopping center doesn't have a gas station in it?"

"Careful Benson; they say the first sign of insanity is when you talk to yourself," she said, her voice thick with sleep. I gave her a little smile.

"So I take it you forgive me for my pissy attitude earlier." She waved me off dismissively.

"Eh, whatever. I'd be pissed too if my mom spent all Thanksgiving lunch sharing my embarrassing baby pictures to the rest of my family." I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, but she held up in a finger in front of my lips. "But if you ever snap at me like that again –" I pulled her hand away and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled into the curve of her neck, "You'll rip my balls off or something like that." I pressed my lips to the spot right underneath her ear, and I felt the slight vibration of a moan from her throat. My lips curved up in a smug smile. Sam slapped the back of my head.

"Wipe that cocky grin off your face, Benson." My smile only widened.

"But I'm smiling because I can do these things to you, Princess." I flicked my tongue against her earlobe and felt as she shivered.

"Freddie…" Our moment was ruined by a loud grumble from Sam's stomach. I pulled away and saw Sam looking down at her stomach embarrassingly. "Oopsies." She patted her stomach. "So, how long are we gonna be stuck here? Could call someone to pick us up or something? I swear, if I have to stay in this car, I'll be forced to eat you."

"Let's save that as a last resort, shall we?" I checked my phone. Dead. "Sorry, Princess, my phone's dead. Yours?" She pulled out her PearPhone and made a face.

"Dead. So, since we're stranded here for a bit, wanna buy me food, baby? There's a **Jack in the Box** right there. Go get me some of those crispy tacos. And make sure to ask if you can use their phone to call Carly or Spence to pick us up. I really don't want to miss Thanksgiving dinner." I peered across the dark parking lot and saw the blinking neon OPEN sign in the window of the really crappy looking fast food restaurant.

"Uh, Sam that's really skeevy looking Jack in the Box… I don't really want to go in there."

"But baby…" She stuck out her bottom lip and fluttered her long eyelashes up at me. I tried to keep from locking eyes with her. Because once I did, I knew it was pretty much game over for my will power. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her eyes. I felt my resolve crumbling.

"Fine, I'll get your damn tacos." I hopped out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I stole a backwards glance and Sam sent me a cheeky wave. I rolled my eyes and crossed the parking lot to the restaurant. The door opened with a little jingle of the overhead bell. The middle-aged Indian man looked up at me with a bored expression on his face.

"Welcome to Jack in the Box. Can I interest you in our new Jack's Special?" he asked in a monotonous, heavily accented voice.

"Uh, no thank you. Can I just get five orders of the two for a dollar tacos?" I said, pulling out my wallet from my back pocket. That would mean I'd be getting ten tacos; two for me and the rest for Sam.

"Does that mean you are ordering five tacos or ten tacos?" I arched an eyebrow.

"It's two for a dollar, right?"

"Yes." He let out a bored sigh.

"Okay so, I'll get five orders then."

"Sir, is that five orders of two tacos or just five tacos?" I gripped the side of the grimy counter.

"Just get me ten tacos!" The cashier looked up at me.

"There is no need to raise your voice with me, sir." I apologized reluctantly and he lazily tapped the order in. "Would you like to purchase anything else to complete your order?" Tacos would make Sam thirsty, so I knew I had to order a drink for her.

"Two medium Peppy Colas."

"Would you like to make it one Super-Sized drink instead of two mediums?" I felt like stabbing needles into my eyeballs.

_This could take a while._

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><p>"Here." I dropped the paper bag into her lap. "Eight tacos and a medium Peppy Cola. Enjoy, I went through many hardships getting that order in." I bit roughly into my own taco, watching as Sam smirked while she plucked a taco out of the bag.<p>

"Did you get to call Carly?" she asked with a mouth full of taco. She washed it down with some Peppy Cola. I nodded.

"Some scrungy old guy lent me his dinosaur of a cellphone." I nearly upchucked my taco, remembering his creepy toothless smile. Sam's smirk widened.

"Yeah, I saw him making eyes at you. What a pedo." I reached over and wiped a bit of taco sauce from the corner of her mouth with my thumb.

"Don't worry Princess; I won't be leaving you for an old pedo anytime soon." She snorted.

"Damn straight, Benson." I laughed and took a sip of my soda.

"I know this isn't the Thanksgiving you were hoping to have, but it's not all that bad." Sam gulped down her fourth taco and raised her eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Mhm. There's decent food, my favorite soda. Oh, and you're here with me," I said leaning over and placing a kiss on her nose. Sam scrunched up her nose and laughed.

"Okay, so this isn't total hell. But…"

"But what?"

"I'd still rather be eating ham, no matter how good these tacos are." I laughed and took a bite out of the taco in her hands, earning me another smack to the back of the head. I rubbed the tender spot absent-mindedly and tugged on one of her curls.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Sammy."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Freddork."

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><p><strong>Now I want some ham. Or Jack in the Box tacos... LOL.<strong>

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**DEETRIXJAAY :3 **

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	16. KISS

**Hallo! Here's another one-shot for you guys! :D**

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><p><strong>KISS.<strong>

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_In which our favorite couple watches a MMA fight…_

| SAM'S P.O.V. |

My PearPhone buzzed loudly from its spot on my bedside table, interrupting my afternoon nap. I snatched my phone and checked the time before glaring at the name displayed across the screen.

**ONE NEW MESSAGE**

**FREDDORK**

I crinkled my nose. How dare that nub wake me up from my nap ten minutes earlier than I usually woke! I rubbed my eyes sleepily and opened the text.

**Hey Puckett, care to join me on my last day of house sitting for Carly and Spencer?**

Carly and Spencer went to Yakima to visit their Granddad and had asked Freddie to apartment-sit for them. They usually didn't need someone to watch their home, but Spencer had just bought a new goldfish and he needed someone to feed it, determined to keep this one alive for more than three days. I typed in a reply.

**Why would I want to spend the rest of my afternoon hanging with a dork?**

I rested my phone on my stomach and threw an arm over my face. The phone buzzed against my tummy. I checked the screen; this time he was calling me. I growled before hitting the answer button.

"Give me a list of ten _good _reasons to hang out with you for a whole afternoon." It was kind of a game we played. Whenever we wanted something from the other, we would have to give each other valid reasons for doing it.

"_I bet I can win you over in three,_"

I scoffed. "Try me, Benson_._"

"_Okay, one: you probably don't have any plans as of now._"

"Psh, I could totally find something to do."

"_Nothing legal._" He took my silence as a chance to keep going. "_Two, Carly has a fridge full of uneaten food and I hear it calling your name._"

I snorted. "That sounded dorky. And as tempting as that sounds, you've already pulled the free food card many, many times. I've trained myself not to succumb to its call. Sort of." Freddie laughed.

"_Fine, you're right I do play the free food card a lot._"

"Face it, Fredderly, nothing you say will get me to cave."

"_But I have one last really good reason!_"

"Shoot." I heard him take a deep breath.

"_You, me, the Shays' living room couch, popcorn, and the latest Shelby Marx fight on pay-per-view._" I threw my covers off and started scrambling out of bed.

"I'll be there in ten."

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><p>"Yeah Shelby! Just one more hit and that chick's down! Popcorn," I said, opening my mouth. Freddie rolled his eyes and tossed a piece into my mouth. I was jumping up and down on the Shays' couch, switching between yelling at the TV and catching popcorn from Freddie. I was wearing a baggy, white tank with 'CUTTLEFISH' written in black across the chest and a pair of purple boxer shorts; I had been too lazy to dress properly.<p>

"You know Sam, if you want popcorn you should really just get it yourse–"

"_Oh and Scottish fighter, Glinda O' Fallon is down!_" He whipped his head towards the screen at the sound of the announcer's voice. "_Shelby Marx has defeated, yet another, opponent!_" I started dancing around on top of the couch, forcing Freddie to relinquish his spot. He stood and laughed at my array of hair whipping and flailing limbs.

"Yes! Shelby Marx is the MMA champion of the world! WOO-HOO!" I fist pumped and then threw my arm around his neck in a headlock. He let out a huff as I rubbed my knuckles against his hair.

"Jesus Puckett!" I released him and flopped onto the couch dramatically. His annoyed expression was replaced with one of amusement when I smiled and sighed happily.

"I love MMA," I said dreamily. I was jolted from my dreamy state when Freddie pushed my legs off of the couch and reclaimed his spot. I glared at him. "What are you doing?" He raised an eyebrow challengingly.

"Sitting in _my _spot." I raised my eyebrow right back at him.

"Well, stop sitting and get standing. Fetch me another root beer, Freddog." He looked at me incredulously.

"Dude, you've already had seven bottles. How much root beer could your little body possibly hold?" I scrunched up my nose and threw my legs onto his lap as hard as I could. The little squeak he let out told me I had hit his – ah – sensitive spot.

"Meh, suck it up, Benson and go get me some soda." Instead of following my orders, Freddie grabbed my bare ankle and started tickling me through my red and blue striped sock. I let out an embarrassing snort of laughter and attempted to bat his hands away.

"Kn-knock it off!" – snort – "Ben" – snort – "son!" – snort – "Augh!" I let out a strangled yell as I fell of the couch. He stood up, still tickling my foot.

"Surrender!" he shouted.

"Never!" I swung my free foot up and, once again, came in contact with his crotch. Freddie squeaked again and fell back onto the couch, immediately releasing my ankle. I smirked and stood up, straightening out my tank and brushing my hair out of my face.

"Don't mess with me, Benson." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Now, seeing as you are, er, out-of-order at the moment, it looks like I'll have to get my own root beer."

"Bring me an ice pack, too. I think you permanently bruised my balls, Puckett," he peeped out to me as I walked to the kitchen. I raised my eyebrows. Huh, it was kind of refreshing hearing Freddie be so blunt. As I dug through the fridge for a bottle of soda, he shouted something at me.

"Hey," his voice had returned to its regular octave, "they're showing footage of how badly Shelby Marx messed up that Scottish chick's face." The fight! I forgot all about it in midst of all that stupid tickling. I grabbed a bottle from the back of the fridge (praying it wasn't diet) and ran back to the living room.

What happened next was all an accident, really. It wasn't supposed to happen. Spencer's stupid sculpting tools weren't supposed to just be lying around. I wasn't supposed to trip over them. Freddie wasn't supposed to be standing right there. I wasn't supposed to crash into his (surprisingly muscular) body. He wasn't supposed to catch me and wrap his arms around my waist. We weren't supposed to go tumbling to the ground. I wasn't supposed to end up straddling his waist. I wasn't supposed to look up into his eyes. And we definitely weren't supposed to get caught up in one of those cliché, in-the-heat-of-the-moment lip-locks.

But we did.

I pressed my lips to his and my hands automatically tangled themselves into his soft, brown hair. His arms tightened around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. A slight moan rumbled in his throat when I gently nipped his bottom lip. He opened his mouth against mine and I gasped as he ran his tongue over my lip. He took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. I groaned when his tongue clashed against mine. I sat up without breaking the kiss and pulled him by the collar onto the couch. Shelby Marx's interview on TV was just a buzz in the background.

I straddled his lap, resting my knees on either side of his legs. I sighed as his fingers inched under my tank, brushing against my bare skin. I ran my hands down the sides of his arms, feeling the hardness of his biceps. Freddie suddenly flipped our position so that he had one knee in between my thighs. He kissed the corner of my mouth, my jaw, the spot below my ear, down my neck, finally stopping at my collarbone. I gasped as he sprinkled kissed along that very sensitive spot. His hands crawled higher and higher up my shirt until he rested a warm hand on my rib cage.

His fingers grazed across the edge of my bra. I bit my lip trying to hold back a moan. He abandoned my collarbone and slammed his lips against mine again. This time I could hold a moan back. He let me flip us back into our original position; hands still plunged into my shirt. Just as I wrapped my arms around his neck tighter, there was the click of someone unlocking the front door and Spencer loud voice from the other side.

Freddie and I froze, and stared at each other with wide eyes, as if we were realizing just now what position we were in. If Carly or Spencer walked into the room right now, with me straddling Freddie's lap and his hands up my shirt, they'd both die of panic attacks. Within seconds, we were sitting at opposite ends of the couch as far away from each other as possible, our eyes glued to the TV. After a few tense moments, the Shay siblings waltzed into the room. Carly ran towards us.

"**Kiss**!"

Freddie and I exchanged a quick, panicked look and we both started spluttering out incoherent words. Our faces were slowly turning red.

"Kiss? What are talking about, Carls?" I said, finally. She gave us a concerned look and pulled a little bag of foil wrapped chocolates from her leather handbag.

"Spencer and I dropped my MallMart before we came back home and I bought some Hershey's Kisses. Do you guys want some?" she asked, still looking at us weirdly. I gathered my composure and grabbed a handful of the little chocolates. I turned away from Carly and chucked one at Freddie's forehead. He caught it before it could hit him.

"Here you go, dork, a kiss from me to you." I gave him a quick wink before turning back to my best friend. "Well, I gotta go. Things to do, people to see, you know?" I smiled and walked out the door, hoping that Freddie had caught my message. Mama needed to finish what she started. The elevator was just about to close when I heard him call my name.

"Sam, wait up!" He came running into the elevator and pushed me up against the wall. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Yes?" I asked, stretching out the 'e'. He pressed himself up against me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I couldn't let you go without thanking you for that kiss." I hooked my arms around his neck.

"Oh really, Mr. Benson?" He nodded. "So, in what form will this thank you be in?" He didn't bother telling me the answer, he just showed me. I smiled into the kiss. He pulled away with a kiss to my cheek.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, Benson, anytime."

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><p><strong>And there you have it! <strong>

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